April already?

Cepatnya masa berlalu,dah April pon. I just came back from vacation impian, 1 week to be exact. Alhamdulillah, sampai sudah kami ke rumah-Mu :)In short, yes it was a really special place. Menitik air mata once nampak Masjid Nabawi apatah lg Masjidil Haram and Kaabah depan mata. Subhanallah...Semoga dimurahkan rezeki untuk ke sana lg, Insyaallah.

I think most of you pon dah pegi so takpa la, I reserve my story about the 'vacation'. Oh the only reason why I call it a vacation is its my first time going out of the country..hehe dont get me wrong :)

Challenges?
1. Leaving Raudhah Amani with her atok and nenek for 2 weeks! Sampai kurus baby ibu :( Its ok, its just gonna make you and ibu a stronger person kan? :) ibu is so proud of you, girl!
2. Being away from Malaysia when you need all the local food and your comfort zone with you. Haha surprise, I am now 10 weeks pregnant and morning sickness has just make a come back 2 weeks back, just as I was about to take off to Jeddah :D

30 weeks to go. Hope everything will be fine. Dear morning sickness, please go away sooooonnn :)

10 years in love

10 years have thought me a lot about the beauty of being in love, being loved, making sacrifices, being patience and holding on to what I believe. Only God knows how much I love you, especially after all the ups and many many loops of difficulties that we have faced together. Subhanallah...

Sesungguhnya dugaanMu adalah untuk hambaMu yang mampu mengadapinya. Tabah dan kuatkan hati kami untuk menghadapi hari-hari yang mendatang Ya Allah. Sesungguhnya kekuatan ini adalah milikMu. Semoga hidup kami terus disinari kebahagiaan and dijauhkan dari hasad dengki hambamu Ya Allah...Amin...

This year, we celebrated our 10th anniversary at Mecca with the special 'gift' in my tummy. So the celebration can come later, ok ayah :)


Happy 10 years, love. Dear Mr Zulfadhli, ku amat mencintai kamu..kerna kau beri erti hidup..ku kan selalu mencinta sedetik lebih, selepas selamanya :)



All time favourite!

1 year

Happy Birthday Raudhah Amani! Ibu & ayah love you so much.
Semoga anak ibu terus membesar dgn sihat & ceria.
Subhanallah, besar nikmatMu Ya Allah. Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah....

My biggest fear

"Kuatkan hati kami Ya Allah, permudahkan urusan kami Ya Allah, perkenankan doa kami Ya Allah. Sesungguhnya Engkau Maha Pengasih & Penyayang..Amin Amin Amin..."

In denial...

Just few days to go until Raudhah Amani turns 1. It seems so fast. Cepatnya anak ibu besar... Alhamdulillah. On the other hand, ibu and ayah are nervous about the check up this Friday. Hope all is going to be fine.

Birthday party? Hmm not quite sure whether we should have one :D Maybe not this early hunny. Tunggu besar sikit ok.

Love u,girl!

Double Joy

I am on emergency leave today. Raudhah Amani was down with fever since last night. I just dont have the heart to leave her with the nanny and selfishly go to work. So here I am,at home with my precious baby.

However, I did get work done from home. And I was overwhelmed with 2 emails received today.

1. From the support staff,acted as the photographer for Young Leaders Forum.

He has uploaded the pictures of the event into the intranet and was kind enough to acknowledge me in his email to all staff. I am touched,seriously. Thank you Abg Matcham!

2. One of the participants, who is from the OPI department has uploaded the report about the program in the intranet,for CUF Division. And her note in the very last paragraph...wahhh I am delightfully-speechless :) Thank you Kak Erin!

Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah.

The first headache of the year

My new year started big. I was assigned to organise one of the company's annual events for executives, the Young Leaders Forum back in April 2010. The event was initially planned to be carried out in December 2010,considering the workloads and re-strategizing of work scope within the department. December itself is not a good month to begin with,which will only contribute to low turn up. So it was postponed to 6&7 January 2011. What a way to start the new year :D Plus,that was the only available time to secure the presence of the MDCEO to the event. Yey,am so glad to have one of the most respectful leaders in the organisation there. Alhamdulillah,Allah permudahkan. Overall,the event was a SUCCESS. Why?

First of all,we changed the focus of the event; from a very HR-driven content forum,into a dynamic,lively and wholesome spectrum of leadership sharing for the executives. Themed "Inspiration,Determination&Motivation towards Self Excellence", the event was designed to balance the needs to outperform and at the same time,practice exemplary values in career and life as a whole. Yes,the theme is a bit mouthful to pronounce but it only reflects how much you can learn from it. Interesting? Atleast the MDCEO and my GM were happy about it :D 50 seats were offered but 51 participants turned up during the event. This is history.

Amazingly,this event was run by only 4 executives.My assistant and I came up with the groundwork and the other 2 were appointed and came aboard later,during the execution phase. The fact that we were remotely dispersed,situated in 3 different work locations (KL,Segamat&Kerteh),SHOULD impress others more.Most of the time,communication was made through email.Cayalah geng Planner!Korang mmg superb!

The most valuable experience gained through this event is on delivering ideas and influencing others.I presented the groundwork to the GM.Yeah,she had no objection with the new focus.However,she had reservation with one of the proposed guest speakers,who I think is the best fit,a complete package for this event.So I stood my case,insisted to invite him and explain the rational behind the proposal.Alhamdulillah,at the end she agrees.

I also had the experience to have a 1-1 session with the MDCEO. I remembered the secretary called me on a one fine day,when it was just 7.40am.."Ja,En Sam nak jumpe pasal Young Leaders esok.." Must be about the speaker note I left at his office yesterday,I whispered. He was indeed a very nice person.Nothing much was highlighted,he just briefed me on what he is going to talk on the next day. Macam aku pulak MDCEO kan? Padehal he has all the right to talk on whatever he wish. And he made by day by ending the discussion with, "Good job". Fewit!

The Determination session was delivered by Malaysian 2nd astronaut, Mej Dr Faiz Khaleed. Apparently,he used to report to my boss's husband. So in a way,yeah the "cable" was justifiably strong. Okla,no doubt his knowledge and persona reflect the title as astronaut. Most important I think his determination to pursue his aspiration is worth to learn from.

Apparently,the most interesting session of all was the Inspiration session,delivered by internal speaker,one of the few young GMs in PETRONAS. YM Tg Taufik delivered his leadership journey in a very structured, simple,interesting,interesting and interesting storyline! and he covered most of the points I gave during the expectation setting discission. I really admire this guy. And I am sure many others are with me. To him, work is about making sacrifices. And no matter how busy he is,he makes it appoint to 3 things; dinner,Saturday morning and Sunday evening with his family.

Day 1 - Dead serious... :D

End of Day 1 - Thanking the participants "Keep up the energy and take this opportunity to ask questions k guys?"

The first day was loaded with tips to outperform or stretch ur target in what you do. So for the second day,we called Ustaz Aidil to talk on balancing the two "world". The message was, yeah go ahead reach your fullest potential but at the same time,keep the good values with you. Insyaallah things will fall into place.

The event then was continued with group performance. The performances were interesting and indeed creative. Some argued on the selection of topic, nothing new to them. Well,the focus of the organiser was more towards teamwork actually,not to test you dear Young Leaders. Later, 3 Management representatives joined the participants for a dialogues session. A lot has been asked and the involvement were my satisfactory :)

Of course,there were minor-tolerable hiccups here and there. But the team managed to handle them professionally.

All in all, the feedback is encouraging and I am happy. Thank you for the opportunity to lead and also to the team members, we have made it!

The GM (in red), The MC (behind Dr Faiz), The Astronaut & The Organising Committee :)

My R.B.C for 2011

1. Read - target 6 books and Have You Met Maryam is a must!

2. Bake - Raudhah Amani turns 1 in February. I wanna bake her birthday cake. Well maybe for a 1 year old is a bit too much but for her future birthdays,yes. Lets start practicing now,ibu!

3. Cook - Find time to cook (since Amani is easier to manage nowadays) and cook healthy & tasty meal for Amani!

2010: Love, Live & Lapse

Today is the last day 2010. Oh my, time flies! Life has been wonderful this year. Especially with the presence of our bundle of joy in February. Alhamdulillah. At this very moment, I am at Sungai Petani, spending the rest of the weekend with the husband and baby. *Bliss* Even though his schedule is a bit tight (although it is weekend), I am happy to be here. And I know, you're happy to have us here too,dear husband :)

See? Raudhah Amani was so happy to meet you,ayah! (Macam mane la ayah die tak cair)

Zul turned 26 last Tuesday. So we celebrated his belated birthday in a very simple way, just the the three of us. Raudhah and ibu got ayah a small present, to reward his hardwork and encourage more achievements ahead, Insyaallah. Happy Birthday,ayah! We love you so much :) oh the cake was courtesy of baba and mama. We brought it all the way from KL. Thank you bama!

All in all, 2010 has been a great year. Well of course there are setback moments but to me there's more to be happy about. Nothing beats the feeling of having a loving husband and a cute baby, kan? Supportive family members add more to it! Nah,so I choose not to get carried away will the 'setback' part :D Trust me,it is easy if you WANT to & it is going to be difficult it you HAVE to.

So here is my story of 2010. May good fortunes follow our way in 2011, in the aspect of health, career, love and life as a whole. Insyaallah,dgn izin-Nya.

LOVE

The born of our 'Taman Cita-cita'

Syukur, Alhamdulillah. The first addition completes our small family on 23 February 2010, after 15 months of marriage. RA is the symbol of our love journey that marked its 9th year in the following month. We love you so much,girl! The moments were captured in this entry.

The second year

Zul & I celebrated our 2nd anniversary in November 2010. I miss those moments; when we were pronounced as husband&wife. Simple, that is US :)

Congratulations

His career started up low since joining the unit in 2008. With difficult people, clash of values and demanding expectations from people around him. Yes,this is normal even for us the civilians. Alhamdulillah, 2010 was a good year for my army guy. He has attended 2 courses (which accumulate to a total duration 10 months for this year alone!) and was recognized with Best Academic Award for the first course and Best Student Award,recently. Alhamdulillah. I am so proud of you dear! May RA follows your steps nnt. Insyaallah.

LIFE

Family

I learned a lot about family this year. I believe that my new 'title' has contributed to the way I value my family. The presence of RA brought my sister and I closer. I remember the day when Zul had to return to his course,after taking care of me during confinement for a week. I cried like a baby,seriously. And there was my sister, she wiped my tears and consoled me. Sweet? Of course. Look what she prepared for me as Mother's Day present. Cool huh? :)

Friends

2 out of my 9 bestfriends got married this year. Congratulation to my ex-roomie, Alin & Nor! So Wengurls, we have 7 weddings to go to complete all 10 of us. By the way, the 3 of us got married to our schoolmate. Sweet isn't it? :)

Jaja & Zul - 08.11.08 : Fiena, could not make it

Alin & Kerol - 19.06.10 : Diyana, Fiena & Zura missing



Noran & Wafa - 09.10.10 : Diha could not make it

LAPSE

Work

My major setback of the year. The changes in the organisation's processes disappoint me,badly. Nonetheless, I am optimist that things happen for reasons. Every cloud has a silver lining,kan? To me it is a test to see how grateful I am even when bad luck strikes. Yeah, the thought of how blessed I am to have my dear Zulfadhli & Raudhah Amani was the strength,that kept me going. I am now rough-er than ever and speak my mind clearly. No more sweet,nice Ms Jaja :D hehe. Just do the best and go with the flow. Rezeki di tangan Allah,Insyaallah ada di mana-mana :)

2010 has end. Welcome 2011... Happy New Year everyone :)

Women & Leadership

The sharing session for ladies which was conducted last Monday was interesting. The organiser was creative in coming up with the theme; "Women & Leadership : Choices, Chances & Challenges". Simple & catchy. The opening remark was ever interesting when the speaker actually relates the theme to diamond! The 4 C's: Clarity, Colour, Carat & Cut. I swear, I got carried away and did think of getting myself a new 'piece' for a while. Oh Habib Jewel~ Haha :D

Well, my takeaways from the event were mostly taken from Ustaz's session:

1. Challenges are opportunity to grow wiser for future/bigger roles.
So don't give up. Sesungguhnya apa yang dari-Nya, Dia tahu kita mampu hadapi.

2. Women are born with leadership qualities:
a. Sabar
b. Sayang (Penyabar)
c. Haish...lupe pulak no 3 ni ape. nnt update eh
d. Sungguh-sungguh (Committed)
A mother is a form of leadership you know. Ok, bias!

One thing for sure, everyone of us is a leader. It must begin with leading yourselves; be it in planning your daily routines right up to chart your career plan towards your ultimate goal.
Lead self, lead others then lead change.

Quiet weekend

Its Saturday, and the husband is not coming home this week. The new post requires his involvement in lots of improvement initiatives. So its just the two of us again, dear Raudhah. Ibu bet ayah misses you a lot. Its ok, ada peluang nnt ayah balik ye :)

Raudhah turned 9 months old last week. How time flies. I still remember the day I first held her in my arms...the feeling is simply beautiful. Subhanallah. At her 9th month, she is able to sit on her own and has made few attempts to stand and took baby steps around the hall. She's not showing any interest to crawl though. Take your time, lil one. Ibu is not going to push you, but we'll practice together more often, ok? :) Her teeth have started to grow; 4 in a go! Fiuh...syukur,awk xdemam.

It has been 7 months since I came back to work, but I just cant stop missing Raudhah Amani (while at work) just yet. I really look forward to fetch her at the babysitter's house at the end of the day. Syukur for the nikmat. You're truly are my aspiration, girl.

These pictures were taken this morning. She can entertain herself, allowing ibu to do the house chores. Hehe notice where she put her right leg? Well, she is a military baby :D It runs in the blood.

A self reflection

It has been a while since the last post, 8 months to be exact. A lot has taken place since then, including the celebration of our 2nd wedding anniversary. Alhamdulillah, no words could describe how grateful I am, for His blessings...for the opportunity to feel the beauty of love & companionship. This year, we gotta celebrate with our 8months old baby girl. Bliss! :)

Life is like a roller-coaster, there are ups and downs to it. One day, you're at the tip of the mountain, but on the next day, you might fall down under. Surprise? Challenges make us stronger and wiser. The question is to maintain calm and remain positive mind at all times. Possible? Yes, I believe so.

Bottom line, we are better off, Alhamdulillah. We have a job to keep, family, friends and are able to survive with the skills/capabilities that He has given to us whereas there are people out there which their welfare is at the mercy's of others. Syukur for the nikmat.

Life is beautiful. But life, is not a bed of roses to choose from. You can never get all that you want. But most of the time, it is just not enough, do they? :D

9 years in love

Happy 9 years, love. This journey has been amazing. From high school sweetheart to marriage and now, parents! I had no idea why i chose him at the beginning. Zul on the other hand said, he just know it back then. There were ups and downs of course. Especially when distance comes into picture AND military conquer the vision. We were once estranged from seing each other for 5months. Communication was a challenge during the early days. Handphones were not allowed and public phones were not to anyone's rights for usage. But somehow, we did not give up. Alhamdulillah, with His blessing we made it this far.

Alhamdulillah. May this blessing lasts to eternity. Cant stop loving you!

1 month

Alhamdulillah. The young one turns one month today. Ayah & ibu are so happy. It seems just yesterday we held you in our arms. The moments when you were born are still playing in our mind. Simply beautiful...syukur alhamdulillah.





Your presence brings our love to another level. Indeed,makes the relationship grows stronger.


We love you Raudhah Amani. We hope that you will grow bigger, healthy and happy in the name of love. Insyaallah :-)

20 First Date

How time flies. It seems too fast that i'm already in the 3rd week of my 60 days of maternity leave. A lot has taken place since then. Today,i am proud to say that i'm getting hold of the transformation,from a weekend wife to an everyday mother :-) Am not trying to show off (come on 20days to get familiarize is practically long,isnt it?) Just to motivate self after a looong day,at 'work'.

I must say,the body is not as strong as before yet. Help comes in handy especially in the new daily chores; heating up the batu tungku, boiling water for mum's and baby's bath and puting everything back in place. The wound and pain after labor plus the exhausion of sleepless nite result in a weak body. But alhamdulillah, the wound has healed and i now understand my baby better,to face the sleepless nites :-)

Confinement has been fun. The first week was being monitored by my dear mother. I owe this lady so much. Mama prepared everything from air rebusan mandi, delicious meals to Raudhah's affairs. At night,mama would come to my room everything Raudhah cries. Oh mama how could i ever pay you back. I wish i'd be a good mom to Raudhah just as good as you've been to me. Now,i'm on my own with my little sis who lends extra hand in my daily routine.

Knowing Raudhah by now, i'd make sure that i wake up early to take care of my personal business before she wakes up. From taking bath, bertungku and put on the bengkung. Then i take my breakfast before devoting the rest of the day to my precious lil one. One of the moments i enjoy the most is during her bathtime. Raudhah loves it. And the best part,she would make cute faces and so bubbly when ibu puts her clothes on.

The rest of the day will be her nenen time, as and when required. I tried to steal some time to start working on my EBM stock, but to no luck. Will work on it soon.

Alhamdulillah. Raudhah Amani, we love you ao much. Ayah always express how weekend is too short to spend with you and ibu. Hope we could move in with ayah soon. And here's the pictures of you throughout our 20 first date, ibu's personal favourite :-) Oh,ayah said ibu has slim down fairly...yey!

Now its the 3 of us...

The Call

It was on Monday,22nd Feb 2010.There was something about the appointment,i sensed.maybe its time...the hospital bags were all prepared.The night before,i told my mum on the plan.Mama brought one bag to work while i brought the other.I was on my 38th week.Birth can take place anytime now.

So i went to meet my gynae that day.Baby was in good condition.Her weight has reached 3.8kg.This left me with no choice, 'either u check in today or we have to undergo operation later.Baby is big' yikes!I made myself clear that i wanted to undergo normal delivery.Yes,i chose to check in later that evening.

Mixed Feeling

It was almost lunch time when i arrived at the tower.I was scared,couldnt believe that the time has come.I burst into tears few times since i let zul know bout it back at the med centre.As i reached the office,i break the news to fellow officemates and emailed my 9 bestgirlfriends.Oh i also went for lunch with Fatin!Wow..i couldnt concentrate on work anymore.Plus tears kept finding its way to come out.So i decided to take a walk..long walk to friends places at level 61,63 and 74.Wow,i never knew that people care.The words of encouragements,support and tips were overwhelming!I only came back to my place around 5pm,took sometime to prepare the handover notes and only left around 8.15pm.

Ready or not,here goes

Arrived,registered,checked in at my single suite.Zul was on his way from johor.ETA 2am.I was so glad that the officers considered our situation and helped Zul to get his leave,even longer than expected!Alhamdulillah.The moment i checked in,I was told to clean up.My BP reading was taken and at 10.45pm the first magic tablet was inserted to my v.To my surprise the show was there already.Later,i was connected a machine that keep tracks of the contraction.Contraction?Very mild at that moment..hehe.Zul arrived at 1.30am.Mama also accompanied me that night.To get good rest,was the mission.Its gonna be a long day tomorrow..

Happy Birthday, 23rd Feb 2010

My gynae came to check on me at 7.30 am.Yup,i was already 2cm dilated.She then induced another magic tablet into me.I wished Zul was there to witness the scene.He went out to buy breakfast for mama.Pain?Yeah,a bit but its tolerable.At 11am i was 3cm dilated.After being advised by the gynae and few experienced friends,i decided to take epidural to ease up the labor pain.So i was moved to the labor room to begin.

The anesthetist took quite sometime to get the process done.According to him,my skin layer was thick.He had to repeat the steps,i think 5 times! Moral of the story,dont put on too much weight :p around 12pm,i was asked to get some rest.The gynae expected that labor will take place around 5pm...NOT!! At 2pm,i started to feel disturbing sensation at my lower abdomen.I kept on bugging Zul with question, 'whats my contraction reading?' and surprisingly,it was not high.The feel was getting more painful as time goes by.Cannot be!I asked Zul to call the nurse.I became panic when the nurse confirmed that i was already 8cm dilated!She went out to call the gynae,she said.So there i was with Zul..we had our moments,mintak maaf,mintak dipermudahkan.Ouch..the pain was getting stronger n the gynae was no where in the picture.Zul went out of the room again and this time,i was fully dilated.Ok,its time!I felt a very strong pressure down there.Oh my.I tried to maintained calm and not push until instructed.Soon the gynae and her team arrived.Everything happened so fast.I pushed once..twice..until the fifth attempt only i heard the magical sound,the sound that i now hear everyday..my baby was born at 2.45pm!Zul was my hero.He guided me through the labor.He reminded me to stay calm and cited zikir while i was in pain..pain?Oh no its not over!Moments after labor i felt sharp tip making its way into my skin!How can this happen? Am i feeling needle on my private part?I thought i wasnt supposed to feel anything.Gosh i was so wrong.The pain was horrible,tripple the labor pain!This was the time when i cried out loud.I cried like a baby!It was painful and i am not kidding u!A while later everything was done.From distance i saw baba n mama making their way to reach me.I was still crying at that time...and they joined me in tears.Moreover when they lay their eyes on their granddaughter.Alhamdulillah...Alhamdulillah baby is safe.She weights 4kg and the damage reflect :p

The Name

Zul and i had the inspiration to the perfect name for our daughter in Dec 2009. I must say,its not as easy as it seems.Earlier i wanted name that starts with Z.I always like Zara Zulfadhli.A package; universal,simple and has meaning.But zara is one of the common names nowadays,just like adam,arif,alya,humaira and the list goes on.We wanted name that reflect us,no offense..so lets go back to history!The name is a symbolic of our love journey.It started in March 2001.Zul's parents went to perform hajj that year.And there was a list of 10 wishes.I only knew this after a while.If not,i'd love u more Mr Zulfadhli!Apparently,one of Zul's wishlist in 2001 was Nurhafiza Rosly...who that?Its me!! I guess his mom's doa at Raudhah on this makbul. There goes ur first name, dear Raudhah.Wait,i felt incomplete.Sounds quite tough huh the name?So we picked a few soft-sounded names and settled down with Amani..finally, Raudhah Amani bt Zulfadhli which means taman cita-cita.Indeed,u are our aspiration lil one!

Our first family picture, credit to Shasha :)

Alhamdulillah :-)

p/s: I asked Zul on how did he feel during the labor process..he said, 'sangat mengINSAFkan..' I couldnt agree more :) Mr Zulfadhli, although the damage [koyak] is big, i can stand another 4 rounds of this. Seing ur happy face whenever ur with Raudhah means a lot to me..I LOVE YOU!!