2010: Love, Live & Lapse

Today is the last day 2010. Oh my, time flies! Life has been wonderful this year. Especially with the presence of our bundle of joy in February. Alhamdulillah. At this very moment, I am at Sungai Petani, spending the rest of the weekend with the husband and baby. *Bliss* Even though his schedule is a bit tight (although it is weekend), I am happy to be here. And I know, you're happy to have us here too,dear husband :)

See? Raudhah Amani was so happy to meet you,ayah! (Macam mane la ayah die tak cair)

Zul turned 26 last Tuesday. So we celebrated his belated birthday in a very simple way, just the the three of us. Raudhah and ibu got ayah a small present, to reward his hardwork and encourage more achievements ahead, Insyaallah. Happy Birthday,ayah! We love you so much :) oh the cake was courtesy of baba and mama. We brought it all the way from KL. Thank you bama!

All in all, 2010 has been a great year. Well of course there are setback moments but to me there's more to be happy about. Nothing beats the feeling of having a loving husband and a cute baby, kan? Supportive family members add more to it! Nah,so I choose not to get carried away will the 'setback' part :D Trust me,it is easy if you WANT to & it is going to be difficult it you HAVE to.

So here is my story of 2010. May good fortunes follow our way in 2011, in the aspect of health, career, love and life as a whole. Insyaallah,dgn izin-Nya.

LOVE

The born of our 'Taman Cita-cita'

Syukur, Alhamdulillah. The first addition completes our small family on 23 February 2010, after 15 months of marriage. RA is the symbol of our love journey that marked its 9th year in the following month. We love you so much,girl! The moments were captured in this entry.

The second year

Zul & I celebrated our 2nd anniversary in November 2010. I miss those moments; when we were pronounced as husband&wife. Simple, that is US :)

Congratulations

His career started up low since joining the unit in 2008. With difficult people, clash of values and demanding expectations from people around him. Yes,this is normal even for us the civilians. Alhamdulillah, 2010 was a good year for my army guy. He has attended 2 courses (which accumulate to a total duration 10 months for this year alone!) and was recognized with Best Academic Award for the first course and Best Student Award,recently. Alhamdulillah. I am so proud of you dear! May RA follows your steps nnt. Insyaallah.

LIFE

Family

I learned a lot about family this year. I believe that my new 'title' has contributed to the way I value my family. The presence of RA brought my sister and I closer. I remember the day when Zul had to return to his course,after taking care of me during confinement for a week. I cried like a baby,seriously. And there was my sister, she wiped my tears and consoled me. Sweet? Of course. Look what she prepared for me as Mother's Day present. Cool huh? :)

Friends

2 out of my 9 bestfriends got married this year. Congratulation to my ex-roomie, Alin & Nor! So Wengurls, we have 7 weddings to go to complete all 10 of us. By the way, the 3 of us got married to our schoolmate. Sweet isn't it? :)

Jaja & Zul - 08.11.08 : Fiena, could not make it

Alin & Kerol - 19.06.10 : Diyana, Fiena & Zura missing



Noran & Wafa - 09.10.10 : Diha could not make it

LAPSE

Work

My major setback of the year. The changes in the organisation's processes disappoint me,badly. Nonetheless, I am optimist that things happen for reasons. Every cloud has a silver lining,kan? To me it is a test to see how grateful I am even when bad luck strikes. Yeah, the thought of how blessed I am to have my dear Zulfadhli & Raudhah Amani was the strength,that kept me going. I am now rough-er than ever and speak my mind clearly. No more sweet,nice Ms Jaja :D hehe. Just do the best and go with the flow. Rezeki di tangan Allah,Insyaallah ada di mana-mana :)

2010 has end. Welcome 2011... Happy New Year everyone :)

Women & Leadership

The sharing session for ladies which was conducted last Monday was interesting. The organiser was creative in coming up with the theme; "Women & Leadership : Choices, Chances & Challenges". Simple & catchy. The opening remark was ever interesting when the speaker actually relates the theme to diamond! The 4 C's: Clarity, Colour, Carat & Cut. I swear, I got carried away and did think of getting myself a new 'piece' for a while. Oh Habib Jewel~ Haha :D

Well, my takeaways from the event were mostly taken from Ustaz's session:

1. Challenges are opportunity to grow wiser for future/bigger roles.
So don't give up. Sesungguhnya apa yang dari-Nya, Dia tahu kita mampu hadapi.

2. Women are born with leadership qualities:
a. Sabar
b. Sayang (Penyabar)
c. Haish...lupe pulak no 3 ni ape. nnt update eh
d. Sungguh-sungguh (Committed)
A mother is a form of leadership you know. Ok, bias!

One thing for sure, everyone of us is a leader. It must begin with leading yourselves; be it in planning your daily routines right up to chart your career plan towards your ultimate goal.
Lead self, lead others then lead change.

Quiet weekend

Its Saturday, and the husband is not coming home this week. The new post requires his involvement in lots of improvement initiatives. So its just the two of us again, dear Raudhah. Ibu bet ayah misses you a lot. Its ok, ada peluang nnt ayah balik ye :)

Raudhah turned 9 months old last week. How time flies. I still remember the day I first held her in my arms...the feeling is simply beautiful. Subhanallah. At her 9th month, she is able to sit on her own and has made few attempts to stand and took baby steps around the hall. She's not showing any interest to crawl though. Take your time, lil one. Ibu is not going to push you, but we'll practice together more often, ok? :) Her teeth have started to grow; 4 in a go! Fiuh...syukur,awk xdemam.

It has been 7 months since I came back to work, but I just cant stop missing Raudhah Amani (while at work) just yet. I really look forward to fetch her at the babysitter's house at the end of the day. Syukur for the nikmat. You're truly are my aspiration, girl.

These pictures were taken this morning. She can entertain herself, allowing ibu to do the house chores. Hehe notice where she put her right leg? Well, she is a military baby :D It runs in the blood.

A self reflection

It has been a while since the last post, 8 months to be exact. A lot has taken place since then, including the celebration of our 2nd wedding anniversary. Alhamdulillah, no words could describe how grateful I am, for His blessings...for the opportunity to feel the beauty of love & companionship. This year, we gotta celebrate with our 8months old baby girl. Bliss! :)

Life is like a roller-coaster, there are ups and downs to it. One day, you're at the tip of the mountain, but on the next day, you might fall down under. Surprise? Challenges make us stronger and wiser. The question is to maintain calm and remain positive mind at all times. Possible? Yes, I believe so.

Bottom line, we are better off, Alhamdulillah. We have a job to keep, family, friends and are able to survive with the skills/capabilities that He has given to us whereas there are people out there which their welfare is at the mercy's of others. Syukur for the nikmat.

Life is beautiful. But life, is not a bed of roses to choose from. You can never get all that you want. But most of the time, it is just not enough, do they? :D

9 years in love

Happy 9 years, love. This journey has been amazing. From high school sweetheart to marriage and now, parents! I had no idea why i chose him at the beginning. Zul on the other hand said, he just know it back then. There were ups and downs of course. Especially when distance comes into picture AND military conquer the vision. We were once estranged from seing each other for 5months. Communication was a challenge during the early days. Handphones were not allowed and public phones were not to anyone's rights for usage. But somehow, we did not give up. Alhamdulillah, with His blessing we made it this far.

Alhamdulillah. May this blessing lasts to eternity. Cant stop loving you!

1 month

Alhamdulillah. The young one turns one month today. Ayah & ibu are so happy. It seems just yesterday we held you in our arms. The moments when you were born are still playing in our mind. Simply beautiful...syukur alhamdulillah.





Your presence brings our love to another level. Indeed,makes the relationship grows stronger.


We love you Raudhah Amani. We hope that you will grow bigger, healthy and happy in the name of love. Insyaallah :-)

20 First Date

How time flies. It seems too fast that i'm already in the 3rd week of my 60 days of maternity leave. A lot has taken place since then. Today,i am proud to say that i'm getting hold of the transformation,from a weekend wife to an everyday mother :-) Am not trying to show off (come on 20days to get familiarize is practically long,isnt it?) Just to motivate self after a looong day,at 'work'.

I must say,the body is not as strong as before yet. Help comes in handy especially in the new daily chores; heating up the batu tungku, boiling water for mum's and baby's bath and puting everything back in place. The wound and pain after labor plus the exhausion of sleepless nite result in a weak body. But alhamdulillah, the wound has healed and i now understand my baby better,to face the sleepless nites :-)

Confinement has been fun. The first week was being monitored by my dear mother. I owe this lady so much. Mama prepared everything from air rebusan mandi, delicious meals to Raudhah's affairs. At night,mama would come to my room everything Raudhah cries. Oh mama how could i ever pay you back. I wish i'd be a good mom to Raudhah just as good as you've been to me. Now,i'm on my own with my little sis who lends extra hand in my daily routine.

Knowing Raudhah by now, i'd make sure that i wake up early to take care of my personal business before she wakes up. From taking bath, bertungku and put on the bengkung. Then i take my breakfast before devoting the rest of the day to my precious lil one. One of the moments i enjoy the most is during her bathtime. Raudhah loves it. And the best part,she would make cute faces and so bubbly when ibu puts her clothes on.

The rest of the day will be her nenen time, as and when required. I tried to steal some time to start working on my EBM stock, but to no luck. Will work on it soon.

Alhamdulillah. Raudhah Amani, we love you ao much. Ayah always express how weekend is too short to spend with you and ibu. Hope we could move in with ayah soon. And here's the pictures of you throughout our 20 first date, ibu's personal favourite :-) Oh,ayah said ibu has slim down fairly...yey!

Now its the 3 of us...

The Call

It was on Monday,22nd Feb 2010.There was something about the appointment,i sensed.maybe its time...the hospital bags were all prepared.The night before,i told my mum on the plan.Mama brought one bag to work while i brought the other.I was on my 38th week.Birth can take place anytime now.

So i went to meet my gynae that day.Baby was in good condition.Her weight has reached 3.8kg.This left me with no choice, 'either u check in today or we have to undergo operation later.Baby is big' yikes!I made myself clear that i wanted to undergo normal delivery.Yes,i chose to check in later that evening.

Mixed Feeling

It was almost lunch time when i arrived at the tower.I was scared,couldnt believe that the time has come.I burst into tears few times since i let zul know bout it back at the med centre.As i reached the office,i break the news to fellow officemates and emailed my 9 bestgirlfriends.Oh i also went for lunch with Fatin!Wow..i couldnt concentrate on work anymore.Plus tears kept finding its way to come out.So i decided to take a walk..long walk to friends places at level 61,63 and 74.Wow,i never knew that people care.The words of encouragements,support and tips were overwhelming!I only came back to my place around 5pm,took sometime to prepare the handover notes and only left around 8.15pm.

Ready or not,here goes

Arrived,registered,checked in at my single suite.Zul was on his way from johor.ETA 2am.I was so glad that the officers considered our situation and helped Zul to get his leave,even longer than expected!Alhamdulillah.The moment i checked in,I was told to clean up.My BP reading was taken and at 10.45pm the first magic tablet was inserted to my v.To my surprise the show was there already.Later,i was connected a machine that keep tracks of the contraction.Contraction?Very mild at that moment..hehe.Zul arrived at 1.30am.Mama also accompanied me that night.To get good rest,was the mission.Its gonna be a long day tomorrow..

Happy Birthday, 23rd Feb 2010

My gynae came to check on me at 7.30 am.Yup,i was already 2cm dilated.She then induced another magic tablet into me.I wished Zul was there to witness the scene.He went out to buy breakfast for mama.Pain?Yeah,a bit but its tolerable.At 11am i was 3cm dilated.After being advised by the gynae and few experienced friends,i decided to take epidural to ease up the labor pain.So i was moved to the labor room to begin.

The anesthetist took quite sometime to get the process done.According to him,my skin layer was thick.He had to repeat the steps,i think 5 times! Moral of the story,dont put on too much weight :p around 12pm,i was asked to get some rest.The gynae expected that labor will take place around 5pm...NOT!! At 2pm,i started to feel disturbing sensation at my lower abdomen.I kept on bugging Zul with question, 'whats my contraction reading?' and surprisingly,it was not high.The feel was getting more painful as time goes by.Cannot be!I asked Zul to call the nurse.I became panic when the nurse confirmed that i was already 8cm dilated!She went out to call the gynae,she said.So there i was with Zul..we had our moments,mintak maaf,mintak dipermudahkan.Ouch..the pain was getting stronger n the gynae was no where in the picture.Zul went out of the room again and this time,i was fully dilated.Ok,its time!I felt a very strong pressure down there.Oh my.I tried to maintained calm and not push until instructed.Soon the gynae and her team arrived.Everything happened so fast.I pushed once..twice..until the fifth attempt only i heard the magical sound,the sound that i now hear everyday..my baby was born at 2.45pm!Zul was my hero.He guided me through the labor.He reminded me to stay calm and cited zikir while i was in pain..pain?Oh no its not over!Moments after labor i felt sharp tip making its way into my skin!How can this happen? Am i feeling needle on my private part?I thought i wasnt supposed to feel anything.Gosh i was so wrong.The pain was horrible,tripple the labor pain!This was the time when i cried out loud.I cried like a baby!It was painful and i am not kidding u!A while later everything was done.From distance i saw baba n mama making their way to reach me.I was still crying at that time...and they joined me in tears.Moreover when they lay their eyes on their granddaughter.Alhamdulillah...Alhamdulillah baby is safe.She weights 4kg and the damage reflect :p

The Name

Zul and i had the inspiration to the perfect name for our daughter in Dec 2009. I must say,its not as easy as it seems.Earlier i wanted name that starts with Z.I always like Zara Zulfadhli.A package; universal,simple and has meaning.But zara is one of the common names nowadays,just like adam,arif,alya,humaira and the list goes on.We wanted name that reflect us,no offense..so lets go back to history!The name is a symbolic of our love journey.It started in March 2001.Zul's parents went to perform hajj that year.And there was a list of 10 wishes.I only knew this after a while.If not,i'd love u more Mr Zulfadhli!Apparently,one of Zul's wishlist in 2001 was Nurhafiza Rosly...who that?Its me!! I guess his mom's doa at Raudhah on this makbul. There goes ur first name, dear Raudhah.Wait,i felt incomplete.Sounds quite tough huh the name?So we picked a few soft-sounded names and settled down with Amani..finally, Raudhah Amani bt Zulfadhli which means taman cita-cita.Indeed,u are our aspiration lil one!

Our first family picture, credit to Shasha :)

Alhamdulillah :-)

p/s: I asked Zul on how did he feel during the labor process..he said, 'sangat mengINSAFkan..' I couldnt agree more :) Mr Zulfadhli, although the damage [koyak] is big, i can stand another 4 rounds of this. Seing ur happy face whenever ur with Raudhah means a lot to me..I LOVE YOU!!

Fond Farewell for a Leader

9th February 2010 at PETRONAS Twin Towers around 6pm.

Thank you Tan Sri Hassan Marican :) Simply, a great leader.

Nine.2

So close yet so far. That’s how I feel at the moment. Part of me wants baby to continue growing inside my tummy until perfectly 'fit' to launch while the other part hopes that labor will take place earlier than 5th march 2010. I now weigh 104kg. Seriously, heavy. Am not groaning over this blessing, don’t get me wrong. Am happy to carry this precious around. It’s more of the excitement of having u before my eyes, to hold and cuddle, oh I cant wait! Even ayah voiced his thought today, 'Deliver ms CNY xleh ke?' hehe.

Alhamdulillah all is well this week. Baby weighs 3773g, +-500g. So it’s roughly between 3.2 to 3.7kg. Ok kot? Doc's concern is more on her head and leg measurements. Both show the size of a 40 weeks! But since she hasn’t engage to the desirable position for labor, doc decided to give it another 2 weeks before making a call. I really hope she'll 'come down' by then. I definitely don’t want to undergo c-sect. Ok, ibu gotta do lots of walking for that

On the other note, I somehow found myself to online shopping. Oh my, I had no idea that it is so appealing! Rs mcm semua nak! Hehe to begin with, I ordered myself a nursing poncho. Surveyed few brands around kl but can’t seem to concur with the colour and design. After browsing through the online stores, I settled down with Fabulous Mom's nursing poncho. The delivery came a bit late, only 10 days after the order being made. But its ok, janji dapat

Wishlist

Friends have been asking on my wishlist for baby gifts. Honestly I dont have one! I've been eyeing and this for a long time. But its so expensive that I will only go and get it once I get my kutu. My niece also has one. Maybe I should seek my cousin's review on this product. Hmm..

Source

Meet Aunty Roe

Alhamdulillah, many loves u dearie. Last friday, we had heavy breakfast. A piece of NZ's roti telur, piece and a half of roti kosong and nasi lemak ayam, sponsored by caring officemates. They fed me with the same thing in mind,my baby :-) syukur. Wow, what a happy tummy!

Zul and I were touched. Baby got her first gift last wednesday. It was from a colleague at different operating unit, Roe. To see a greeting card and a purple-ly wrapped gift on ur desk after lunch break was so exciting indeed! its so special, that i wanted to capture it here, at my humble blog :-)

Thank you Roe!

The long weekend

Weekend is the most awaited, exciting part of the week. Especially to those who work. Its the time to celebrate and reward the effort being put on throughout the 5days of hardwork. Phew~ I used to love weekend so much but not anymore. It was the time for me to meet the husband, chill out and re-energize. Despite the long hours of traveling, its all worth it. The moment I lay my eyes on u, the hectic just went away :) Traveling up north every Friday had been my routine for the first 6 months of our
marriage. And it was fun! The next few months were the beginning of a new chapter of our life ;p

Now, I do not enjoy long weekend anymore. I tend to become bored and tired of not doing anything at home. Movement has its limitation nowadays. Even if I go out, it will not be as exciting as before. So I rather go to office and focus on my work, seriously. Do I sound pethatic? But of course I didnt. Heh...

Zul didnot come home this weekend. Gosh I miss u. Hope all is well overthere. Insyaallah. My prayer is always for the good to follow ur way.

My long weekend was occupied with the activities of cleaning the room, doing my laundry, shopping at the newly open Tesco at Rawang with family, hijacking lil Inara from her daddy's place to my uncle's house and finally vet through some documents tapau-ed from office. The last one is an accomplishment! Hehe tidak hangat2 tahi ayam disitu.

Mommyhood-preparation wise, I've started to pack my hospital bag. Need to get few things to get it over and done with. Mama bought the jamu and mandian herba mixture to be used during confinement (was quite surprised to know how much it costs). Also, my bengkung is ready! Mama made it for me, with Baba as the mastermind behind it. Oh I'm blessed to have great parents like them. Will i ever be one?

On the other note, its just so difficult to find outfit that fits me nowadays. Hope my wardrobe do me a big favor. Fit me for the next 5 weeks please. Maybe Mama can sew me a maxi? Hmm...

Ok I'm bored. Cant wait to get to work tomorrow!

Eight.5

Ahhhh i'm so in love with this blog template! Proud military brat,with pink spread here n there. Nice!

2 weeks since my last visit to the med centre. I went there again, at 3.30pm today. Baba picked me up at the office and off we went to Prince Court. As usual the nurse took my BP reading, check on my weight and last but not least, did the urine test. At first my BP was quite high. No surprise, I was in a rush, to make sure I reach the med centre on time. And with the plus-size body, its becoming more difficult to move around.

A while later, I was called to the the doc's consultation room. As usual, the first question that was asked ; how much did u gain this time? Hehe..I'm so used to this, I laughed and answered i gained 3kg, so my new weight is 102kg! hehe we laughed.

Doc: "nnt husband awk lg kecik drpd awk mcm mane fiza? husband smart handsome je.." [aik??]
Me : "ala xpe doc,sy kan nak pegi London pasni..."
Doc: "oo yeke..bile"
Me : "hmm London Weight Management la doc..."
Doc: gelak menggile ;p

Haha moral of the story, i know i gained a lot but its not a big deal to me. As long as the baby is healthy. I'll find my way to slim down [gile ke nak gomok2...laki aku aska la]

Lil one is in a good shape, alhamdulillah. She is now 34 weeks and 4 days old. 39 days to go. Ok, i freaked out for a moment,realizing that i got less than 40days to get myself a new title...IBU!

Alhamdulillah, everything was fine. What amazes me was her size is a little bit bigger for a 34weeks, closer to 37weeks! During last checkup, her weight was 1859g. Now she has crossed 2kg, 2771g to be specific. Doc screamed when she measures the baby..

Doc: "Baby besar ni Fiza.."
Me : "Erk yeke doc? Sy nak deliver normal. Boleh ke?"
Doc: "Boleh2..kite monitor her progress. If besar sgt then can deliver awal"
Me : "Kalau camtu kite try weekend la doc. Leh my husband join"
Doc: "Sure2..unless baby nak kua earlier la.."

Oh this is such a great news. Zul was excited when i told him about the possibility to plan the birth of our first child. As much as possible, he wants to be involved. If the baby comes out during weekend then Zul would have the chance to be around. I'm touched over his jolly voice. Mudah2an hasrat ini tercapai. Insyaallah.

See u in 2 weeks time lil one :)

Eight

Week 33, 7 weeks to go before the expected due date. Based on my last menstruation date,the arrival of the little one would be on the 5th of MArch 2010. What is 7 weeks compare to 33. But somehow,it seems long! Guess i cant wait for your presence already :)

CHECKUP
Last week, i went for my 7th checkup. For the first time, Zul couldnt make it to the appoinment. Honestly, i didnt expect him to be there for the last 6 checkups. Not that i dont want to. Lets just say that i am familiar with the probability. Nonetheless, i am grateful that u made it til the 6th checkup, thanks dear. This month,bama n eya accompanied me to the med centre. Thanks bamaya. And the granny actually went to the consultation room and checkout her descendant on screen. Nice!
Its been 5 weeks since the last checkup. Guess what, i gained 10kg this time! Yup,that sums up to a total of 27kg to date. Oh my...oh my! Doc kept on asking why i gained so much. What can i say, work requires energy so i eat. How can i stay focus if i am hungry,kan? For a while there,i stressed out. If only Zul was around :) But that only lasts until i reached my uncle's house couple of hours later. I started to eat again! Haha

THE DEVELOPMENT
Alhamdulillah,baby is in a good condition. The growth of her body parts is at par,as expected over a 32 weeks. We had a glimpse look over her face. It seems that u love to cover ur face,dont u :) but i can tell that u inherit my nose. Hehe sorry ayah! Oh n yes,its a girl. She now weighs 1859g, 895g heavier from the previous checkup. Alhamdulillah. I am thrilled over her frequent movement,squirming especially at my lower abdomen. Geli..hehe. She would also do her thing when i am on the phone with Zul. Mcm tau2 je tgh ckp dgn ayah :)

Next checkup will be in 2 weeks time. Till then, keep on growing n stay healthy lil one!