Syawal 1, 1432H

1) Alhamdulillah, tiga beranak bulat-bulat tahun ni :)

2) Alhamdulillah, ibu puasa penuh tahun ni

3) Alhamdulillah, ayah cuti 1st phase lagi tahun ni

Besar nikmatMu Ya Allah...syukur alhamdulillah

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cousins :)

Hey, it is Raya's eve and I am in the office...practically not doing anything for the past 1 hour :P sheeesh!

Came across this picture of my cousin and I, carrying our baby girl during my brother's engagement. Hehe the mothers are smiling while the little girls masaaammm je.. panas eh girls? :) picture was taken almost a year back..how time flies!

.Ibu.Raudhah Amani.Mama.Inara.

Talking about Raya, I guess this year we will miss these moments (refer the pictures below). It's daddies turn this year. Takpe, next year Insyaallah Umar pon join :)

With PakLong's family..the closest family we have

Raudhah Amani and her cousin, Inara

p/s: Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir & Batin :)

Ramadhan, 27th

Subhanallah, time flies. It has been 27 days of fasting. Alhamdulillah, so far I have not missed a day. Hopefully my wish to fast for the whole month is possible. Insyaallah :)

Husband is already at home. Bliss, having him around together with the little one. Today, just like any other Saturdays, its spring cleaning day! This is the day when I do the laundry, arrange folded clothes into the cupboard, clean the room and paying more attention to the little one. Honestly, work has been so demanding, a lot of thinking and energy-consuming activities were carried out during the day. That left me with a tired mind and body, to continue the remaining hours of the day with the girl who is so attached to her ibu :) ibu felt really bad for having to let grandma took care of you, especially when fatique came into picture. Cant help it. Soon, ibu wont be able to carry you as often. Ibu's tummy is getting bigger and so do you cik Raudhah Amani. But ibu promise, ibu will cuddle you everyday...ibu loves you so much :)

I look forward to the celebration, to spend time with my sweet little family, visit relatives and catching up on life, take pictures and of course I cant wait to enjoy delicious food!! Oh ayam masak merah, rendang, kuah kacang and kuah lodeh!! Slurrrrpppp :D

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Simple wish

I am a very simple person. Do not hurt my feelings and we will tag along just fine. Yes, I seem rough as far as appearance is concerned. Deep down inside, I am soft as silk! I do not wish for anything more. But what if there is more? Then, its a bonus. Get it? Appreciate before you loose it. Maybe not today or tomorrow. But definitely, someday it will...

Missing u

I miss u...terribly. I remember during our recent date, u said "Cara Ja pandang abg still sama mcm masa bercinta dulu..." and u smiled. Bliss. It has been 10++ wonderful years. I still love u, in fact more than I used to back then. Oh jiwang pulak. I miss the school days when I get to see u everyday. I miss the time when I patiently waited for ur phone call every Wednesday (although most of the time it didnt happen). I miss the time when I picked u up at ATMA along with old newspapers and went to recycle center before going out for a date. I miss my 5.45pm bus trips to Sg Petani every Friday evening, 4 to 5 hour journey just to soend time with u during the weekends. I miss my bestfriend, my love, my husband.

Thank God, ur miniature is around to accompany. Tak payah mintak, she'll hug and kiss me sincerely.



I just cant stop loving u, ZI!

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30

Alhamdulillah...my pregnancy has reached its 30th week. Went for monthly checkup this morning. Alone, without ZI and RAZ along. Felt different, nonetheless its ok. Its time to 'meet' UFZ and know his progress.

Alhamdulillah, at 30weeks UFZ weighs 1.85kg. I browsed through RAZ's red book. Coincidentally, during one of the checkups, RAZ weighed the same, at her 32nd week :) Doc SSS (the coolest gynae ever) projected that UFZ will weigh more than RAZ. She estimated RAZ to weigh around 3.8kg at birth, when the actual weigh was 4.0kg. This time, lets just wait and see. I just hope that SVD is possible, insyaallah.

My energy has slowly geared down nowadays. I am heavy, so I get tired easily. Despite this, I still managed to do some shopping for raya and daily use. Hehe go go ibu! Last Thursday, I had the opportunity to drop by at Sogo while waiting for mama to finish work. Shopped few pieces of RAZ's baju raya at the kids department. Guess what, she now wears 3-4y sized apparels (anakku je)! My goodness! I purposely bought bigger size so that can last longer. But turns out the clothes fit her nicely. Hehe same goes to her baju kurung, size 4. Betul anak askar... And what excites me the most was Enfagrow is in stock at Sogo! Yey! Our previous visits failed us with the unavailability of stock, few times not once! I guess Enfa-parents already knew that Sogo offers the best price in the market. RM6 to RM7 cheaper, easily. So I bought 3tins at one go (1.7kg each), without realizing that it was raining outside and forgetting that baba waited for me at Medan MARA..quite a distance walk for a 97kilos. Hehe demi anak :) oh yes, I managed to find baju raya for myself too. Lantakla mcm sarung nangka pun. I must not miss the once a year picture moment with ZI and RAZ. This year's theme; blue (again...ayah taknak bj melayu baru) and brown. Weee

Plus minus, 10weeks to go. I hope my major tasks will be completed way before the due date. Work hard,ibu! :)

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Selesai

Alhamdulillah, he is ok too. August brings hope to the family. May both of you be in good condition,always. Insyaallah, dgn izinNya.

I've fulfilled my promise. In fact today, I joinned one of the parties for iftar at the Intercontinental hotel (formerly known as Nikko Hotel). I was impressed with the capability that these young 'Al-Hafiz' in the making have. The best achievement that the Darul Quran Ittifaqiyah had was to develop a Hafiz within 2 and a half years period. Subhanallah, these kids are gifted with such memory. May Allah protect them from bad influence and keep them on the right track.

I was so fortunate to have the opportunity to meet the resident of Darul Quran Ittifaqiyah. We're like the sky and the ground, living a different way of life. Nonetheless, ustaz Zahid didnot see that as a barrier. And our hope to contribute to the foundation was accepted with much appreciation. Semoga PGB untung besar lg thn ni...Insyaallah. Berkat sumbangan kebajikan dan zakat yg dihulurkan.

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7 days and counting...

Alhamdullillah, it has been 7 days since 1st Ramadhan. Thank God for the blessings; for the opportunity to perform ibadah during this holy month...for the opportunity to reflect on what have we done wrong in the past and continue improving self towards a betterment. I managed to fast these 7 days. Hopefully fasting throughout the remaining days is possible this year, Insyaallah.

Alhamdulillah, the 1st day of Ramadhan brought good news to our family. No surgery is required at the moment, and yes I wish it never will. Follow up checkup in three months time. Insyaallah, Allah bantu kita. Ibu, remember your nazar? Fulfill the nazar soonest possible ok...
Tomorrow, its ayah's turn. Unfortunately ibu will not around to accompany ayah. Hang in there, love. Our prayers will always follow you.

Amazingly, despite of my current condition, I found myself more energetic than ever in this fasting month :) No more sleeping during the day, filled with fun activities and of course homework ;p oppss, the annual budget cycle is here again! My major task before leaving for maternity leave. Hmm come to think about it, both RAZ and UFZ went through the budget cycle with me. Hehe no wonder RAZ loves to inspect my purse! As long as it doesnot involve spending, it is ok hunny :D

Today, the parents had to leave home to attend a funeral at Shah Alam. Al-Fatihah to arwah atok Makman. I had to take care of few things for the husband,so I didnt tag along. And I managed to cook for breakfasting today. Haha simple and yet, delicious! Seriously ;p I guess this is what happen when you cook with love *wink wink* Actually, the motivation behind this was the husband. It happens that my neighbour is going to Zul's place tomorrow. So here's sambal ikan bilis for you sayang! :D

Plus, my cooking needs practice. Look forward to my own kitchen soon :)

Sardin masak kicap.Sawi carrot sos tiram.Sambal berlada ikan bilis

Rindu

Gosh...boyfriend, i miss u. So so badly :(

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Hope

Hang in there sayang...u're one tough girl.

Ibu loves you...

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Sayu

Asyik melihat suami dan anak ketika ini, di kamar, menunggu masa dibuai lena. Dua insan yg amat ku sayang. Dua insan pelengkap semangat untuk menempuh hari-hari dgn optimis. Sebak... Dua insan ini punya dugaan masing-masing. Jauh di sudut hati, ibu sgt sebak diuji dugaan berganda ini. Namun ibu janji, tidak akan berhenti berharap dan ibu yakin setiap dugaan Nya punya hikmah tersendiri. Insyaallah...Mudah-mudah ada sinar menanti kita; ayah, ibu dan anak..

Esok umat Islam akan memulakan ibadah puasa. Ramadhan tiba lagi. Syukur padaNya ada peluang buat kita untuk beribadah. Esok juga hari yg sgt mendebarkan buatku dan suami. Anak akan berdepan dgn mesin besar itu lg. Ya Allah, hajat dihati ini ingin melihat anak membesar dgn sihat dan menjadi insan yg berguna pd agama dan bangsa kelak. Sempena bulan baik ini, aku pohon padamu Ya Allah, kau jauhilah suami dan anak-anak ku dr penyakit yg merbahaya. Peliharalah mereka di bawah lindunganmu Ya Allah. Permudahkan urusan kami dan jauhi kami dr sebarang yg melalaikan.

Anak, ibu doakan anak kuat menghadapi dugaan ini. Mudah-mudahan keputusan pemeriksaan esok berita baik untuk kita. Ibu syg anak, kasih tidak terhingga banyaknya. Hati, bertahanlah walau mata berlinangan lg...Ya Allah...lemah sungguh hambamu ini.

Suami, isteri akan gagah berdiri disisimu walau apa terjadi. Kau kusayang dulu, kini dan Insyaallah sampai akhir nanti. Isteri yakin suami akan sembuh. Bila, bukan kita yg tentukan. Yg pasti, kita tidak boleh putus asa. Anak-anak perlukan kita. Janji, kita usaha sama-sama ya?

Ya Allah...aku barangkali sudah lama tewas dek dugaan ini jika tidak keranaMu. Mana mungkin aku kuat berdepan dgn masalah kesihatan dua insan ini di kala diuji hebat dgn penilaian prestasi kerja. Kekuatan ini adalah milikMu. Kau pinjamkanlah kekuatan ini untuk aku terus berdiri, berusaha dan
bertawakal demi kesudahan yg baik Ya Allah...keranaMu, aku tenang. KeranaMu, aku tabah. Di ketika ini, aku mohon dipermudahkan urusan, diringankan dugaan...

Air mata sudah tidak terbendung. Bertahanlah wahai hati. Islam kata, setiap dugaan yg menimpa, Allah tahu kita mampu hadapinya.

Ya Allah, lindungi kami hambaMu yg lemah. Semoga dugaan ini baik kesudahannya, Amin...

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Ibu's little helper

Just like her ayah, an explorer and a great helper at home :)

Maybe its time for us to move in together, kan ayah? Distance is killing me :(

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Missing you...

I cannot have you by my side at the office, but today I have your watch to accompany my busy day :)

Love you!

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Motherhood

It has been almost 17 months now since I gave birth to our first edition. How time flies. Motherhood has taught me a little bit more about life. An on-going lesson that in the end make you become a better person.

Sacrifices have taken place before the baby was even born. Just imagine the attempts that our mothers had gone through to where we are today.

I remember the moment in the labor room. I was fortunate, for having the opprtunity to give birth at a 5 star hospital. Your wellbeing is well taken care of and access to all sort of medications are readily available as you wish.

My 45 minutes experiencehh in labor room is considered as an easy one. Of course, with epidural in the picture. Still, I felt every bit of the needle tip that went through my skin, at the private part! But what is that compared to natural birth, kan?

Well, that is just the beginning of being a superwoman behind a well raised child. Then comes the sleepless nights, breastfeeding, going back to work dilemma, babysitter, which formula to choose (breastmilk is always the best), leaving your baby for outstation work, colic, teething and so many more.

I must admit that it is not easy being a working mother. Time is a factor that needs to be managed wisely. Another challenge is to keep your emotions at peace. Work nowadays is very demanding that sometime it drives you nuts. Work in KL just adds in the stress with bad traffic in the picture. This is where you have to manage the stress. The moment you reached home, that is the end of it (stress) and the happy hours of the day continue. Well, of course house chores await! Cleaning the feeding bottles, doing the baby's laundry, packing for tomorrow's baby bag and of the best part, catching up with your little one. See? 'Work' doesnot end at the office, there is more of it at home for supermom! Indeed, if not carefully managed one can end up stressful easily. This is where helpful husband comes in handy.

One thing I realize during this motherhood journey is to learn to let go. I used to be a kind of organized person, seriously. I hate seing things out of order and find messy-ness irritating. At this stage, babies or toddlers is exploring their surrounding through different ways. They pick up things and put them inside their mouth, throw things here and there, spill their milk and laugh about it. And throughout these stages, I learned to let go the organized side of me, be patient and enjoy the moments with my child :) let them do the mess and only cleans the mess later. No point of doing the cleaning work early, avoid double work.

I guess the key message is about being flexible. Why burden your mind on small things when you have so many things to be happy about? Just my 2 cents worth :)

Ibu loves you, RAZ!

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My 1st three C!

Today, at 27 years and a month old, I have indulged myself to the Coach! :D yeay! Here's to the hardwork & hardship throughout 2010.

I am a rough person. I hope I would be able to treat my C's accordingly.

If you're reading this ayah, please excuse ibu for being such-a-spender. Once a while ok kan?

Happy belated birthday Jaja :)

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Reflection

Life. How could this short and simple word has different meaning to every single one of us. Everyone has their own story to tell. Some, chose not to talk about it and rather keep it to themselves as secret.

Life. I bet no one dreams of living in the bitter part of it. Just like a fairy tale, we wish to close the chapter by living happily ever after. The FACT is life is not a fairy tale. We could have planned everything but the ultimate destiny is no where within our reach.

Subhanallah, Engkau Maha Agong. Setiap hambamu punya kelebihan dan kekurangan dalam meniti kehidupan masing-masing. Kesenangan dan kesusahan adalah ujianmu. Akhirat kelak perhitungan yang pasti.

Alhamdulillah atas kurniaanmu ya Allah. Jauhilah kami dari kesenangan yang melalaikan. Ringankanlah dugaanmu yang tidak tertanggung oleh kami. Pinjamkanlah kekuatan untuk kami terus bertahan. Jauhilah kami dari bahana hasad. Permudahkanlah urusan kami.Semoga kami tidak tergolong di kalangan hambamu yg lupa. Amin...

Ibu loves you both, dear ayah and Raudhah Amani. Insyaallah ada sinar untuk kita semua. Amin :)

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DUKHMIMU?

Look forward to meeting you soon, love! :-*

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5S day

It was a quiet day. The 5S was planned to be conducted after lunch hour. But my workstation needed 5S badly. So I started early, immediately after tazkirah.

The workstation looks tidy now. Good! Hope it lasts long ;p budget activities are coming up soon; keeping things in order usually is a challenge during the 'cycle' of the year. Nonetheless, its the way it should be. Good luck in keeping the workstation tidy and orderly, Ja. Lets clock in a month as a start, shall we? Longchamp as the motivation. What??? Thats a bit too much kan..expensive! ;p

Here's the new look, the place where obligation meets responsibility.

My battle field :)


Going places; souvenirs from friends


My world


My motivation :)

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Shopping is the best therapy

Two parcels reached home today. Both were for adik. Yes, ibu has started doing shopping for boboi-boy. Though ayah's stand is valid; that kakak's outfits are still in good condition and enough atleast for the first 2 months. Ibu on the other hand, just cannot settled down with boys wearing pinkish outfit. So ibu made friends with online shopping again and now having problem to stop :D

These items arrived today! Janji, I will not spend unnecessarily :)

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Risau

Get well soon, ayah... Ini dugaan kita. Kita face sama-sama.

Ibu loves you.

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April already?

Cepatnya masa berlalu,dah April pon. I just came back from vacation impian, 1 week to be exact. Alhamdulillah, sampai sudah kami ke rumah-Mu :)In short, yes it was a really special place. Menitik air mata once nampak Masjid Nabawi apatah lg Masjidil Haram and Kaabah depan mata. Subhanallah...Semoga dimurahkan rezeki untuk ke sana lg, Insyaallah.

I think most of you pon dah pegi so takpa la, I reserve my story about the 'vacation'. Oh the only reason why I call it a vacation is its my first time going out of the country..hehe dont get me wrong :)

Challenges?
1. Leaving Raudhah Amani with her atok and nenek for 2 weeks! Sampai kurus baby ibu :( Its ok, its just gonna make you and ibu a stronger person kan? :) ibu is so proud of you, girl!
2. Being away from Malaysia when you need all the local food and your comfort zone with you. Haha surprise, I am now 10 weeks pregnant and morning sickness has just make a come back 2 weeks back, just as I was about to take off to Jeddah :D

30 weeks to go. Hope everything will be fine. Dear morning sickness, please go away sooooonnn :)

10 years in love

10 years have thought me a lot about the beauty of being in love, being loved, making sacrifices, being patience and holding on to what I believe. Only God knows how much I love you, especially after all the ups and many many loops of difficulties that we have faced together. Subhanallah...

Sesungguhnya dugaanMu adalah untuk hambaMu yang mampu mengadapinya. Tabah dan kuatkan hati kami untuk menghadapi hari-hari yang mendatang Ya Allah. Sesungguhnya kekuatan ini adalah milikMu. Semoga hidup kami terus disinari kebahagiaan and dijauhkan dari hasad dengki hambamu Ya Allah...Amin...

This year, we celebrated our 10th anniversary at Mecca with the special 'gift' in my tummy. So the celebration can come later, ok ayah :)


Happy 10 years, love. Dear Mr Zulfadhli, ku amat mencintai kamu..kerna kau beri erti hidup..ku kan selalu mencinta sedetik lebih, selepas selamanya :)



All time favourite!

1 year

Happy Birthday Raudhah Amani! Ibu & ayah love you so much.
Semoga anak ibu terus membesar dgn sihat & ceria.
Subhanallah, besar nikmatMu Ya Allah. Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah....

My biggest fear

"Kuatkan hati kami Ya Allah, permudahkan urusan kami Ya Allah, perkenankan doa kami Ya Allah. Sesungguhnya Engkau Maha Pengasih & Penyayang..Amin Amin Amin..."

In denial...

Just few days to go until Raudhah Amani turns 1. It seems so fast. Cepatnya anak ibu besar... Alhamdulillah. On the other hand, ibu and ayah are nervous about the check up this Friday. Hope all is going to be fine.

Birthday party? Hmm not quite sure whether we should have one :D Maybe not this early hunny. Tunggu besar sikit ok.

Love u,girl!

Double Joy

I am on emergency leave today. Raudhah Amani was down with fever since last night. I just dont have the heart to leave her with the nanny and selfishly go to work. So here I am,at home with my precious baby.

However, I did get work done from home. And I was overwhelmed with 2 emails received today.

1. From the support staff,acted as the photographer for Young Leaders Forum.

He has uploaded the pictures of the event into the intranet and was kind enough to acknowledge me in his email to all staff. I am touched,seriously. Thank you Abg Matcham!

2. One of the participants, who is from the OPI department has uploaded the report about the program in the intranet,for CUF Division. And her note in the very last paragraph...wahhh I am delightfully-speechless :) Thank you Kak Erin!

Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah.

The first headache of the year

My new year started big. I was assigned to organise one of the company's annual events for executives, the Young Leaders Forum back in April 2010. The event was initially planned to be carried out in December 2010,considering the workloads and re-strategizing of work scope within the department. December itself is not a good month to begin with,which will only contribute to low turn up. So it was postponed to 6&7 January 2011. What a way to start the new year :D Plus,that was the only available time to secure the presence of the MDCEO to the event. Yey,am so glad to have one of the most respectful leaders in the organisation there. Alhamdulillah,Allah permudahkan. Overall,the event was a SUCCESS. Why?

First of all,we changed the focus of the event; from a very HR-driven content forum,into a dynamic,lively and wholesome spectrum of leadership sharing for the executives. Themed "Inspiration,Determination&Motivation towards Self Excellence", the event was designed to balance the needs to outperform and at the same time,practice exemplary values in career and life as a whole. Yes,the theme is a bit mouthful to pronounce but it only reflects how much you can learn from it. Interesting? Atleast the MDCEO and my GM were happy about it :D 50 seats were offered but 51 participants turned up during the event. This is history.

Amazingly,this event was run by only 4 executives.My assistant and I came up with the groundwork and the other 2 were appointed and came aboard later,during the execution phase. The fact that we were remotely dispersed,situated in 3 different work locations (KL,Segamat&Kerteh),SHOULD impress others more.Most of the time,communication was made through email.Cayalah geng Planner!Korang mmg superb!

The most valuable experience gained through this event is on delivering ideas and influencing others.I presented the groundwork to the GM.Yeah,she had no objection with the new focus.However,she had reservation with one of the proposed guest speakers,who I think is the best fit,a complete package for this event.So I stood my case,insisted to invite him and explain the rational behind the proposal.Alhamdulillah,at the end she agrees.

I also had the experience to have a 1-1 session with the MDCEO. I remembered the secretary called me on a one fine day,when it was just 7.40am.."Ja,En Sam nak jumpe pasal Young Leaders esok.." Must be about the speaker note I left at his office yesterday,I whispered. He was indeed a very nice person.Nothing much was highlighted,he just briefed me on what he is going to talk on the next day. Macam aku pulak MDCEO kan? Padehal he has all the right to talk on whatever he wish. And he made by day by ending the discussion with, "Good job". Fewit!

The Determination session was delivered by Malaysian 2nd astronaut, Mej Dr Faiz Khaleed. Apparently,he used to report to my boss's husband. So in a way,yeah the "cable" was justifiably strong. Okla,no doubt his knowledge and persona reflect the title as astronaut. Most important I think his determination to pursue his aspiration is worth to learn from.

Apparently,the most interesting session of all was the Inspiration session,delivered by internal speaker,one of the few young GMs in PETRONAS. YM Tg Taufik delivered his leadership journey in a very structured, simple,interesting,interesting and interesting storyline! and he covered most of the points I gave during the expectation setting discission. I really admire this guy. And I am sure many others are with me. To him, work is about making sacrifices. And no matter how busy he is,he makes it appoint to 3 things; dinner,Saturday morning and Sunday evening with his family.

Day 1 - Dead serious... :D

End of Day 1 - Thanking the participants "Keep up the energy and take this opportunity to ask questions k guys?"

The first day was loaded with tips to outperform or stretch ur target in what you do. So for the second day,we called Ustaz Aidil to talk on balancing the two "world". The message was, yeah go ahead reach your fullest potential but at the same time,keep the good values with you. Insyaallah things will fall into place.

The event then was continued with group performance. The performances were interesting and indeed creative. Some argued on the selection of topic, nothing new to them. Well,the focus of the organiser was more towards teamwork actually,not to test you dear Young Leaders. Later, 3 Management representatives joined the participants for a dialogues session. A lot has been asked and the involvement were my satisfactory :)

Of course,there were minor-tolerable hiccups here and there. But the team managed to handle them professionally.

All in all, the feedback is encouraging and I am happy. Thank you for the opportunity to lead and also to the team members, we have made it!

The GM (in red), The MC (behind Dr Faiz), The Astronaut & The Organising Committee :)

My R.B.C for 2011

1. Read - target 6 books and Have You Met Maryam is a must!

2. Bake - Raudhah Amani turns 1 in February. I wanna bake her birthday cake. Well maybe for a 1 year old is a bit too much but for her future birthdays,yes. Lets start practicing now,ibu!

3. Cook - Find time to cook (since Amani is easier to manage nowadays) and cook healthy & tasty meal for Amani!