The birth story

The Plan

Based on baby's progress discovered through the regular check-ups, doctor (again) called for early admission to the hospital. Same like my first pregnancy, doctor proposed for induction to take place at 38th week due to the size of the baby. And this year, 38th week happened to be on 11th October 2011 :) The decision was made on 29th September 2011 and admission letter was prepared for the big day. I was expected to check in a day before, Monday 10th October 2011 by 22:30H.


Knowing when to deliver is like going against the nature. Child birth is usually unpredictable, a sudden urge that brings an indescribable bundle of joy to a couple after 40 weeks (some maybe lesser) of waiting. But in my case, both were planned.

Things happen for a reason. With planned birth comes planned leaves. Alhamdulillah, the husband again managed to join me during the labour. The one which was different from the first attempt o_0 yikes!

Nampak tak botol besar kat belakang tu? Itulah air selusuh saya. Doctor sgt impressed :D
The Pain

To our surprise, I was already 3cm dilated the moment we arrived at our suite. Wow. No pain at all. So this is how natural birth works. That was at 22:30H. Induction did not take place at all. At 05:30H, another examination was done, with an opening confirmed at 5cm. Phewww~ half way to go.

Doc came later at 07:30H that morning, on 11 October 2011. Everything was ok. But baby is a little bit high from the uterus. That may delay labour. Time was still at my side. Hopefully baby will come down as the dilation progresses. I was then rushed to the labour room to undergo the procedures to get the epidural in me. Painful? A bit, yes. I was then asked to get some rest before the 'show' began. Oh the doc broke the waterbag after the procedures completed. Macam empangan pecah. Air ketubanku banyak~

09:00H the pain started to chip in. I was still at 5cm. The pain was bearable. But the question was, how come I could feel it when the epidural was already took effect? Wait, does this means that it is not working?? Glurppp* I tried to remain calm and optimist that it will be ok soon. Boy, I was wrong!

10:00H Contraction was observed at every minute. No progress, dilation was still at 5cm; still a long way to go. It was my first encounter with contractions. Never in my pregnancy that I experienced any, especially without epidural on. This is as good as natural birth. I struggled to fight the pain. Just as I was about to settle down, another contraction came to say hi. Oh my, I never felt such pain before. PAINFUL, no joke! The nurse suggested that inhaling the gas would help during the contraction. I tried. Fine, it worked but for an every-minute-contraction-situation, it made me drowsy and sleepy. So I stopped taking gas. At that point, I almost gave up. Zul was in shocked, did not know how to help and most of all terrified seing his tough-wife in pain. "Abg, doakan Ja ye", mohon restu pada suami. Air mata tak berhenti mengalir. Lemah betul hambaMu ini Ya Allah... Indescribablely painful. Macam nak kena cabut peranakan ni. The urge was too strong.

I felt helpless. Mulut ni tak putus berdoa and zikir. Doc came in to check. Everyone seemed to be worried looking at my condition. Not that I shameless-ly cried, screamed or what so ever. I was helpless, quietly fighting the pain, in tears. "Macam mana ni Fiza. You're only 5cm dilated. How can we proceed with normal delivery macam ni", said the doc as I refused to take another round of epidural as suggested. Worried big time, yes.

Not long after the doc left the room, Ms Kalai the staff nurse rushed to my bed and said, "Pn, ambil la epidural sekali lagi. Sempat ni Pn...." I was touched with her concern. My worry was on the contractions, which was then observed at every half a minute! Again, I was only 5cm dilated and I foresee if I did not undergo the second procedures, I will run out of energy by the time labour sets in and operation might be the best option. Oh no as best possible I will not opt for operation. So I agreed with her suggestion. And Alhamdulillah, no contraction was felt during the procedure.

The second procedure was done by another anesthetist, the one who helped me during my first delivery. I would say that he is faster and efficient in doing his job. I can feel the painkiller in my nerves immediately as he finished. Alhamdulillah the second procedure was a success. At 12:00H pain was hardly felt and I was able to recharge before the 'battle'. "Umar turun ye..." sambil usap perut, itu je doa ibu at that time. Dah habis air mata lawan sakit tadi. I settled down, and told mama how painful it was when she came into the room. Mulia sungguh hati seorang ibu. Belum makan, tapi insist nak jenguk anaknya yang satu ni. Mama nampak sedih, tengok aku in that condition. Insafnya.."Nanti Ja sakit nak beranak ma keluar eh. Ja tak nak ma tengok Ja sakit". Mama angguk je.

Doc came in again. "Good decision, she said" It was closed to 13:00H. "You're ready for labour". Baby's head was so close to the entrance. Alhamdulillah, Umar dengar doa ibu. I looked at Zul and smiled. Everything happened so fast. Ms Kalai guided me on how to push. "ok, macam tu Pn. Kita cuba lagi sekali ya". Ada main cuba-cuba pulak hehe. Reason being, usually while on epidural people tend to feel numb and do not feel the urge to push. Alhamdulillah not in my case.

After the first push, baby's head was already out. Doc siap pause kejap, suruh ayah ambil gambar. Bila tengok balik, serammmmm. Second push, baby popped out. 13:03H Umar Faruqi bin Zulfadhli was born safely into this world. The 'party' did not stop there. Everyone was amazed with the size of Umar. "Cuba teka berapa kilo??", the doc raised the question. There were 3 staff nurse together in the labour room. And there were 4 answers. I just smiled seing the joy. If I recalled correctly, the highest answer was 4.13kg. Not long after that Ms Kalai's voice conquered the room, " Doctor, 4.6kg!!" I joined them in laugh and cheer. Alhamdulillah! Surprisingly, the 'damage' was mild compared to my first delivery. Very very mild. Syukur, semuanya dipermudahkan.

The connection...mother & son

The Name

Zul was the one who proposed the name of our son. At first, Zul suggested that we name our son as Umar Abdul Aziz, after the name of one of the khalifahs. Yes, I understand his intention. However, I wish it could be shorter. So we kept Umar as the first name, followed with Faruqi. Which means, khalifah pembeza antara yang benar dan yang batil. Zul's father raised that the meaning is a little bit too strong. Zul and I on the other hand had our reason. Hopefully, in a situation to decide, to choose between right and wrong, Umar will make a good choice and judgement based on his knowledge and the religion's perspective, atleast for himself. Itu harapan ayah dan ibu buat Umar. Insyaallah...

The Praise

Syukur padaMu Ya Allah, dipermudahkan urusan kelahiran, dipinjamkan kekuatan.

I could never have done it without the help and doa from family and friends, thank you.

Zulfadhli Ismail, I love you so much :) Thank you for being by my side throughout the process. Alhamdulillah, anak kita dah dua yang! :)

Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah...

Some of the baby gifts received. Hilang sikit rasa sakit! Thank you! :D

P/s: buat masa ni, sy serik. Next in 4 years time ok tak? Rest dulu :)

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11.10.11

Alhamdulillah...now, its FOUR instead three of us :)
Umar Faruqi bin Zulfadhli has safely arrived.

Thank you for the doa and wishes. We are blessed to have great people as friends :)

Blessed

My day began with a presentation on tender plan for technical manpower at 9-ish am. Fuh! I was caught off guard when the procurement executive said, "Jaja, you present la" only as we were about to enter the meeting room. Haha bertuah betul. Kalau sound awal-awal kan senang. Hari baru nak mula, tak payah la banyak songeh kan. Besides, I have presented to MD/CEO before. What could have been worse? Hehe GM yang chair meeting pagi tadi pon kenal muka 'Executive sorang ni' yang kena tembak depan Management tempoh hari. Selamba :D *I love my job*

Post meeting, amendment to the paper is required as we are meeting the Executive Vice President tomorrow afternoon. Hopefully all is going to be ok. MD/CEO pon ikut. Hehe tengoklah muka 'Executive sorang ni' lagi :D

Started agressive in the morning, the later part of my day was full of surprises. Looks like UFZ is already loved by many. Dapat 2 lagi hadiah hari ni. One from my new boss and another one from Shaz, a sister I never had. Thank you so much. I am flattered!



As today is the last working day of the week for counterparts at Kertih, I took the opportunity to send an email to the whole fraternity before leaving for maternity. Will be on MC beginning Monday. The response from them? I am touched. Masih ramai yang sayang :)

Alhamdulillah, what a balanced day.

It is going to be a long day tomorrow. Hopefully I will be able to keep up with my checklist.

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Penyabar, yeke?

One of the support staff raised her opinion about me today, "Jaja ni penyabar betul. Kalau akak tu, mesti anak dah kene cubit..." she was referring to RAZ's 'project-X' (refer the entry on Little Mechanic )

Itu baru satu. Combat girl ayah ni dah pandai macam-macam lately. But come to think about it, yes I rarely scold her for the things she did. Penyabar? Ibu-ibu lain pon sama je kot :)

As a working mother, I feel guilty for not being able to give all the attention in the world to my girl. Most of my time is spent at work. Keluar seawal 6.15pg, sampai di rumah semula paling awal jam 6.45ptg. Balik usually dah penat. Tapi, urusan tak habis di situ. Malam masuk shift motherhood pulak. Basuh feeding bottles, pack bag anak, kissing, cuddling and catching up with the little one. The time to 'spoil' RAZ for the 'opportunity lost' to something essential for a living, called WORK. Siang ibu kerja, malam ibu layan awak k. Tidur lambat, nak tgk dvd, scribbling conteng-conteng kertas, panjat kerusi, campak baling mainan semua ibu ikutkan. Tapi bukan ikut-ikut kosong. Kalau tak betul kena tegur tapi bukan dengan kaedah pukul. Oh memang tuntut kesabaran yang tinggi. But I believe that at this age, kids are in the exploring stage. Scolding or screaming at them will only shut off the skills to imagine and explore. So I choose to smile rather than screaming at her.

Danger. Potential emotional hazard.









Ibu loves you so much dear RAZ! :)

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Cloth Diaper

Tinggal harapan. Pernah pasang niat untuk berjimat dengan penggunaan cloth diaper untuk anak-anak. Selesa, mesra alam dan mesra 'poket'. Namun, harapan tidak tercapai. Opah (panggilan untuk pengasuh RAZ) , tidak menyokong hasrat ibu. Disposable diaper lebih mudah dan serasi dengannya. Akur.

Comel sungguh design-design CD di pasaran. Anak-anak turut sekali nampak comel :)

Satu-satunya CD kepunyaan RAZ. Sukanya ibu :)


Tempoh hari, seorang teman pejabat yang baik hati sampaikan hadiah buat UFZ in advance. Syukur ibu punya teman-teman yang pemurah. Persoalannya, what is the arrangement going to be, Ja? Mungkin boleh digayakan pada hujung minggu atau malam hari. Now that I have 8 of them :)

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9/12

September has come to an end. Oh my, how time flies. In couple of days I will be in labour already, Insyaallah. I am so fortunate to have supportive people around me throughout the pregnancy. Baba and mama helped a lot in giving an undivided attention and love to RAZ, especially at this very moment; where limitations deny the will. I owe BaMa so much, sanggup tido lewat teman cucu bermain. Padahal the next day masing2 nak bangun awal to get ready for work. You're the best, BaMa!

On the other hand, the in-laws also contributed in many ways. I have been told by my husband that the air selusuh for my near-labour-consumption is ready. Thank you ayah&mak for the doa.

Also, the backbone behind my motivation and strength, my hope and reason to be thankful for what I have...dearest Zulfadhli Ismail. I am plain zero without you. Thank you for the love and care :) Two hearts together, one love forever. Cant stop loving you hunny! Nak gi honeymoon la yg...hehe

Being a mother of one has changed my perspective about life. Subhanallah, besar nikmatMu. The feeling is just indescribable. RAZ completes us. Now its all about the young one(s). Apa2 pon pikir pasal anak2 dulu. Yes, at times it is tiring to juggle between work and motherhood. But irony, it is fun! Insyaallah lepas ni ayah and adik will join us in our very own home. Semoga Allah permudahkan urusan kita sekeluarga :)



The most hectic 3-month of the year has come to an end. Alhamdulillah. As much as I love my current function, I think its time to move to another portfolio. Now I have to concentrate on the job hand-over process before leaving for maternity. Hang in there adik. Honestly, ibu cant wait to meet you, boy.

Ya Allah, permudahkan urusan kami. Berkatilah usaha kami. Mudah-mudahan hari-hari kami sentiasa dibawah lindungan dan petunjukMu. Amin.

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36

Am at the medical centre for MGTT test. Took the opportunity to take time-off from work since office is quite empty today. Most of us are involved with the conference at Putrajaya and the meeting with the Union. Perfect, I love quiet office :)

Hmm I gained another 5kg since last check up. That accumulates to 37kg to date. Will I meet the KPI in two weeks time? My limit is 40kg, can I control my weight gain to 3kg only by next check up? We'll see :)

Adik weight is estimated at 3.75kg. This may vary by 500g, between the range of 3.25 to 3.75kg. Hope all is well inside, UFZ. You have not engaged and ready for labour just yet. Hang in there, give ibu 2 weeks ok. Job hand-over is in progress.

Come this weekend, 2 weeks ayah tak balik. Take care dear. We miss you :)

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Little mechanic

This is what the ex-CO would lable as 'anak mechanical engineering'. Off all the toys ibu and ayah bought for you, this kind of activity excites you more ye Raudhah? You and ayah would make a good team! Makin besar, makin nampak that your traits are keen toward ayah's. Ok, atleast taklah malas baca buku 'trick-full' macam ibu ;p

Well, does this qualify for a new laptop for ibu, ayah?

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Feeling lucky

Happy 19 months RAZ! Alhamdulillah, may you grow with good health, endless happiness and filled with love by people around you. Insyaallah. Ibu is so proud of her good girl! :)
Lucky = for having a daughter like you :)

Yesterday, the pelvic pressure striked again. It was crampy, or similar to menstrual cramps experienced by some ladies. This time, I had difficulty to even move my legs. And leaning on right or left side of the body is just not possible as it will only increases the pressure at 'down under'. Oh my, I did not experience such strong pressure during my 1st pregnancy. So, I got panic for a while, to the extent that I got up from bed, get my lumix's battery charged and memory card empty ;p But I knew labour just won't take place last nite; there was no contraction. Just strong pressure. Well, there goes my beautiful sleep :D Optimist, baby is coming soon, sleepless nights may make a come-back.

I went to work today feeling terrible. My steps were just too slow to 'compliment' the pain. Oh, but I managed to get myself a chocolate-strawberry waffle for breakfast, yummy! Thought of dropping by the hospital for a quick check. But the doc said its normal. So lets just hang in there ok ibu.
Lucky = to have some time to do work-handover

Today, the company hosted its annual Raya celebration. This year, it was held at the Corus Hotel, very near to KLCC. At a very last minute, I decided to go to the event. Left office at 3pm with a pregnant-friend, with a mission to enjoy good food :D Well food was ok. Bonus, I won the lucky draw. Dapat rice cooker Elba. Macam tau2 je nak masuk rumah nnt :) and our department got the consolation prize for kad raya design contest. Ok la. As always, the doorgift is interesting. Toiletries bag suitable for traveling purposes. Yeay!
Lucky = rice cooker for ibu + toiletries bag for ayah

I feel so lucky today, Alhamdulillah.

Ayah kate ibu cun in the picture below. Hehe si gembol naik kembang! ;p

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:)

Rindunyeeeee

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You, weekend and I

10.09.11, both ibu and RAZ had our checkup at PCMC. Alhamdulillah, ayah was able to come home and accompany his girls. I just could not imagine chasing RAZ around the Woman & Child department alone without Zul's assistance. She enjoys her trip to the medical centre. Running here and there, make friend with older kids, invading the play room, are among the must do and expected of her. Well, at this moment ibu is torn between chasing RAZ and managing the 'havoc' UFZ is making inside. Thank you for being around, dear husband :) My heart melts whenever I see the father-daughter bond. An evidence of how distance just make love grow stronger. Ayah balik once a while tp anak still recognize. Syukur.






WEEK 33
I gained another 5kg, accumulated to 32kg to date ;D I give myself another 8kg max. Let's not exceed the baseline weight ok ibu.

UFZ made a tremendous progress. 'Fiza, baby is big'. The same statement from the same doc back then, when I was pregnant with RAZ. Usually the development is at most 2 weeks ahead. Surprisingly, since last checkup 3 weeks back, UFZ is now 4 weeks ahead of his 'age'. I was supposed to be in my 33rd week when the reading in the screen shows 37! Oh my, ibu byk makan planta kot adik? Baby weight was estimated at 3.2kg. Hmm I did not know how to react. If I compare the progress with RAZ's record, her weight at 34th week was 2.8kg. RAZ was born at 38th week weighing 4kg. So whats next? Since baby has not engaged and has not reached his full term, doc suggested that ibu come again in 3 weeks for next assessment. The decision will be made then. Let's pray for the best. Insyaallah, dgn izinNya.





A beautiful weekend with my favourite company; my bestfriends, my love...my ZI, RAZ and UFZ :) besar nikmatMu, Alhamdulillah.

Hmm kaki dah bengkak. Teruk kan?

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Revenge

These two days have been stressful. It is the time of the year; the annual budget review for financial year 2012. This is my second year leading the budget team of HR division. The budget review started yesterday and having the portfolio closest to one's heart, HR was given the limelight to present first before the other business core divisions. Great. And in the absence of my immediate superior, the GM entrusted me to deliver the presentation. Wait, the management committee members were there and the MD/CEO chaired the meeting. Wow.

Manpower cost and operating expenditure budget are expected to increase in next FY. Frankly, my superior and I have predicted that the alarming cost will attract much concern. True enough, to the extent that at one point the MD/CEO said 'I am not comfortable to present this to the Board. I am not going in. You present this to the Board, Jaja'. *Glurppp* How would you feel if you were in my shoes? Suddenly the huge body felt sooo tiny, almost invisible infront of the bosses of the company. So we had to re-present the budget this morning.

Being a subsidiary company, there are costs that are cascaded by the mother company for the initiatives conducted for the groupwide. It is like a 'given' instruction. So we had to budget for the expenses whether we like it or not. And for having to be questioned over something beyond my control, it was the most depressing 60minutes of my life!

Went back to my workstation and summarized everything in 2 slides to address the concern raised during the meeting.

14.09.2011 is my victory day. 'This is clearer. Kalau u present macam ni semalam kan senang Jaja..' I just nodded and smiled. Hey, the previous slides were presented to my manager and GM way way before the budget review. So the lesson is not solely mine to digest :P I guess it is better for the MD/CEO to nag me rather than my manager or GM. If not, diorang lagi malu. Atleast I am just a 4-year-experienced executive. Telan je la labu.

The presentation last for only 5 minutes. Not long after leaving the meeting room, I received an sms from the Finance Executive. 'Jaja, can u email the softcopy of ur waterfall chart. MD/CEO wants every division to follow HR's slides :)'

I got my revenge. Senyum sampai telinga! At the end of the day, the hardwork paid off. I think I should frame the waterfall chart, the victory. What say u? Haha

One thing for sure, I understand it is not easy to assume an MD/CEO position. As much as how depressing it was during the first day, I tried to remain optimist about the challenge. Sengih je, apa susah ;p

Alhamdulillah :)

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Merah

Coincidence...tiga beranak berbaju merah malam ni. Rumah sukan ibu back then, masa mula-mula in relationship with ayah :) ibu merah (Zuhal) while ayah kuning (Musytari). Merah kuning=Selangor=hometown kami. Teringat kenangan di sekolah. During one of the afternoon prep sessions, ibu pakai bj sukan rumah kuning sbb bj ibu basuh. So pinjam kawan punye. Bile sampai kelas tgk ayah pulak pakai bj sukan rumah merah...ehh???? Hehe senyum malu-malu dibuatnya. Memories pull the tie stronger. Once a while kene refresh the memories so that rs sayang semakin kuat. Tambah lg dah nak masuk 2 org anak kan? :) mudah-mudahan kasih sayang ini terus jd milik kita.




From my observation, whenever husband is home, during bedtime our girl always has the tendancy to be closer to her ayah. Even if ayah switch side with ibu, she knows where to head for her ayah. Ayah ada bau ke? Nonetheless, seing them together is such a wonderful sight. Sejuk hati ibu :) alhamdulillah..

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33

Huge isnt it? Hehe ibu yg membesar lebih ni ;p cant wait for the next checkup this Saturday. Hope ur doing well inside there UFZ :) Insyaallah...



A snapshot of UFZ at his 25th week. Ada rupa RAZ. Syukur alhamdulillah :)

Ramai kata RAZ mcm ayah. Agaknya UFZ ikut siapa ye :)

Semoga urusan kelahiran anak ini dipermudahkan dan baik kesudahannya. Amin...

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Nightale

Oh what a night. Tired. Exhausted. On top of all, trying to maintain the composure despite the challenges faced. Hey, this is life :)

Asthma strikes again. Weezing chest, difficult to breathe. Poor baba. We brought him to Sg Buloh hospital for treatment. Reached there around 10pm. The crowd was quite big. Luckily asthma patient gets the priority. No queue, straight to the specific room for asthma treatment. Alhamdulillah everything was ok. We arrived home around 12.30am. Yes, this 100kilo pregnant lady is exhausted. Nonetheless, a daughter has to do what a daughter has to do. Especially for the one-of-a-kind father. Syukur, he felt better...much better.

Adding on to that, my patience was again tested as I was about to go to sleep. My love Raudhah Amani suddenly throwed up on the bed. Oh noooo. This only means that a little bit more 'work' is required before calling the night off. Sheeesh. Angry? Amazingly, not! So there goes the cleaning work before bedtime.

Boleh ke nak marah? Comel je muka tu :)

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Kumohon

Every cloud has a silver lining. Setiap perbuatan yang baik, ada ganjaran yang menanti.

Ya Allah andai layak ganjaran itu buatku, doaku agar Kau kurniakan yang terbaik untuk suami dan anak-anakku; kesihatan yang baik, ketenangan hati dan kesempatan untuk terus berada di landas yang benar. Amin.. :)

Love is all I have for you, sayangs.

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Syawal 1, 1432H

1) Alhamdulillah, tiga beranak bulat-bulat tahun ni :)

2) Alhamdulillah, ibu puasa penuh tahun ni

3) Alhamdulillah, ayah cuti 1st phase lagi tahun ni

Besar nikmatMu Ya Allah...syukur alhamdulillah

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cousins :)

Hey, it is Raya's eve and I am in the office...practically not doing anything for the past 1 hour :P sheeesh!

Came across this picture of my cousin and I, carrying our baby girl during my brother's engagement. Hehe the mothers are smiling while the little girls masaaammm je.. panas eh girls? :) picture was taken almost a year back..how time flies!

.Ibu.Raudhah Amani.Mama.Inara.

Talking about Raya, I guess this year we will miss these moments (refer the pictures below). It's daddies turn this year. Takpe, next year Insyaallah Umar pon join :)

With PakLong's family..the closest family we have

Raudhah Amani and her cousin, Inara

p/s: Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir & Batin :)

Ramadhan, 27th

Subhanallah, time flies. It has been 27 days of fasting. Alhamdulillah, so far I have not missed a day. Hopefully my wish to fast for the whole month is possible. Insyaallah :)

Husband is already at home. Bliss, having him around together with the little one. Today, just like any other Saturdays, its spring cleaning day! This is the day when I do the laundry, arrange folded clothes into the cupboard, clean the room and paying more attention to the little one. Honestly, work has been so demanding, a lot of thinking and energy-consuming activities were carried out during the day. That left me with a tired mind and body, to continue the remaining hours of the day with the girl who is so attached to her ibu :) ibu felt really bad for having to let grandma took care of you, especially when fatique came into picture. Cant help it. Soon, ibu wont be able to carry you as often. Ibu's tummy is getting bigger and so do you cik Raudhah Amani. But ibu promise, ibu will cuddle you everyday...ibu loves you so much :)

I look forward to the celebration, to spend time with my sweet little family, visit relatives and catching up on life, take pictures and of course I cant wait to enjoy delicious food!! Oh ayam masak merah, rendang, kuah kacang and kuah lodeh!! Slurrrrpppp :D

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Simple wish

I am a very simple person. Do not hurt my feelings and we will tag along just fine. Yes, I seem rough as far as appearance is concerned. Deep down inside, I am soft as silk! I do not wish for anything more. But what if there is more? Then, its a bonus. Get it? Appreciate before you loose it. Maybe not today or tomorrow. But definitely, someday it will...

Missing u

I miss u...terribly. I remember during our recent date, u said "Cara Ja pandang abg still sama mcm masa bercinta dulu..." and u smiled. Bliss. It has been 10++ wonderful years. I still love u, in fact more than I used to back then. Oh jiwang pulak. I miss the school days when I get to see u everyday. I miss the time when I patiently waited for ur phone call every Wednesday (although most of the time it didnt happen). I miss the time when I picked u up at ATMA along with old newspapers and went to recycle center before going out for a date. I miss my 5.45pm bus trips to Sg Petani every Friday evening, 4 to 5 hour journey just to soend time with u during the weekends. I miss my bestfriend, my love, my husband.

Thank God, ur miniature is around to accompany. Tak payah mintak, she'll hug and kiss me sincerely.



I just cant stop loving u, ZI!

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30

Alhamdulillah...my pregnancy has reached its 30th week. Went for monthly checkup this morning. Alone, without ZI and RAZ along. Felt different, nonetheless its ok. Its time to 'meet' UFZ and know his progress.

Alhamdulillah, at 30weeks UFZ weighs 1.85kg. I browsed through RAZ's red book. Coincidentally, during one of the checkups, RAZ weighed the same, at her 32nd week :) Doc SSS (the coolest gynae ever) projected that UFZ will weigh more than RAZ. She estimated RAZ to weigh around 3.8kg at birth, when the actual weigh was 4.0kg. This time, lets just wait and see. I just hope that SVD is possible, insyaallah.

My energy has slowly geared down nowadays. I am heavy, so I get tired easily. Despite this, I still managed to do some shopping for raya and daily use. Hehe go go ibu! Last Thursday, I had the opportunity to drop by at Sogo while waiting for mama to finish work. Shopped few pieces of RAZ's baju raya at the kids department. Guess what, she now wears 3-4y sized apparels (anakku je)! My goodness! I purposely bought bigger size so that can last longer. But turns out the clothes fit her nicely. Hehe same goes to her baju kurung, size 4. Betul anak askar... And what excites me the most was Enfagrow is in stock at Sogo! Yey! Our previous visits failed us with the unavailability of stock, few times not once! I guess Enfa-parents already knew that Sogo offers the best price in the market. RM6 to RM7 cheaper, easily. So I bought 3tins at one go (1.7kg each), without realizing that it was raining outside and forgetting that baba waited for me at Medan MARA..quite a distance walk for a 97kilos. Hehe demi anak :) oh yes, I managed to find baju raya for myself too. Lantakla mcm sarung nangka pun. I must not miss the once a year picture moment with ZI and RAZ. This year's theme; blue (again...ayah taknak bj melayu baru) and brown. Weee

Plus minus, 10weeks to go. I hope my major tasks will be completed way before the due date. Work hard,ibu! :)

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Selesai

Alhamdulillah, he is ok too. August brings hope to the family. May both of you be in good condition,always. Insyaallah, dgn izinNya.

I've fulfilled my promise. In fact today, I joinned one of the parties for iftar at the Intercontinental hotel (formerly known as Nikko Hotel). I was impressed with the capability that these young 'Al-Hafiz' in the making have. The best achievement that the Darul Quran Ittifaqiyah had was to develop a Hafiz within 2 and a half years period. Subhanallah, these kids are gifted with such memory. May Allah protect them from bad influence and keep them on the right track.

I was so fortunate to have the opportunity to meet the resident of Darul Quran Ittifaqiyah. We're like the sky and the ground, living a different way of life. Nonetheless, ustaz Zahid didnot see that as a barrier. And our hope to contribute to the foundation was accepted with much appreciation. Semoga PGB untung besar lg thn ni...Insyaallah. Berkat sumbangan kebajikan dan zakat yg dihulurkan.

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7 days and counting...

Alhamdullillah, it has been 7 days since 1st Ramadhan. Thank God for the blessings; for the opportunity to perform ibadah during this holy month...for the opportunity to reflect on what have we done wrong in the past and continue improving self towards a betterment. I managed to fast these 7 days. Hopefully fasting throughout the remaining days is possible this year, Insyaallah.

Alhamdulillah, the 1st day of Ramadhan brought good news to our family. No surgery is required at the moment, and yes I wish it never will. Follow up checkup in three months time. Insyaallah, Allah bantu kita. Ibu, remember your nazar? Fulfill the nazar soonest possible ok...
Tomorrow, its ayah's turn. Unfortunately ibu will not around to accompany ayah. Hang in there, love. Our prayers will always follow you.

Amazingly, despite of my current condition, I found myself more energetic than ever in this fasting month :) No more sleeping during the day, filled with fun activities and of course homework ;p oppss, the annual budget cycle is here again! My major task before leaving for maternity leave. Hmm come to think about it, both RAZ and UFZ went through the budget cycle with me. Hehe no wonder RAZ loves to inspect my purse! As long as it doesnot involve spending, it is ok hunny :D

Today, the parents had to leave home to attend a funeral at Shah Alam. Al-Fatihah to arwah atok Makman. I had to take care of few things for the husband,so I didnt tag along. And I managed to cook for breakfasting today. Haha simple and yet, delicious! Seriously ;p I guess this is what happen when you cook with love *wink wink* Actually, the motivation behind this was the husband. It happens that my neighbour is going to Zul's place tomorrow. So here's sambal ikan bilis for you sayang! :D

Plus, my cooking needs practice. Look forward to my own kitchen soon :)

Sardin masak kicap.Sawi carrot sos tiram.Sambal berlada ikan bilis

Rindu

Gosh...boyfriend, i miss u. So so badly :(

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Hope

Hang in there sayang...u're one tough girl.

Ibu loves you...

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Sayu

Asyik melihat suami dan anak ketika ini, di kamar, menunggu masa dibuai lena. Dua insan yg amat ku sayang. Dua insan pelengkap semangat untuk menempuh hari-hari dgn optimis. Sebak... Dua insan ini punya dugaan masing-masing. Jauh di sudut hati, ibu sgt sebak diuji dugaan berganda ini. Namun ibu janji, tidak akan berhenti berharap dan ibu yakin setiap dugaan Nya punya hikmah tersendiri. Insyaallah...Mudah-mudah ada sinar menanti kita; ayah, ibu dan anak..

Esok umat Islam akan memulakan ibadah puasa. Ramadhan tiba lagi. Syukur padaNya ada peluang buat kita untuk beribadah. Esok juga hari yg sgt mendebarkan buatku dan suami. Anak akan berdepan dgn mesin besar itu lg. Ya Allah, hajat dihati ini ingin melihat anak membesar dgn sihat dan menjadi insan yg berguna pd agama dan bangsa kelak. Sempena bulan baik ini, aku pohon padamu Ya Allah, kau jauhilah suami dan anak-anak ku dr penyakit yg merbahaya. Peliharalah mereka di bawah lindunganmu Ya Allah. Permudahkan urusan kami dan jauhi kami dr sebarang yg melalaikan.

Anak, ibu doakan anak kuat menghadapi dugaan ini. Mudah-mudahan keputusan pemeriksaan esok berita baik untuk kita. Ibu syg anak, kasih tidak terhingga banyaknya. Hati, bertahanlah walau mata berlinangan lg...Ya Allah...lemah sungguh hambamu ini.

Suami, isteri akan gagah berdiri disisimu walau apa terjadi. Kau kusayang dulu, kini dan Insyaallah sampai akhir nanti. Isteri yakin suami akan sembuh. Bila, bukan kita yg tentukan. Yg pasti, kita tidak boleh putus asa. Anak-anak perlukan kita. Janji, kita usaha sama-sama ya?

Ya Allah...aku barangkali sudah lama tewas dek dugaan ini jika tidak keranaMu. Mana mungkin aku kuat berdepan dgn masalah kesihatan dua insan ini di kala diuji hebat dgn penilaian prestasi kerja. Kekuatan ini adalah milikMu. Kau pinjamkanlah kekuatan ini untuk aku terus berdiri, berusaha dan
bertawakal demi kesudahan yg baik Ya Allah...keranaMu, aku tenang. KeranaMu, aku tabah. Di ketika ini, aku mohon dipermudahkan urusan, diringankan dugaan...

Air mata sudah tidak terbendung. Bertahanlah wahai hati. Islam kata, setiap dugaan yg menimpa, Allah tahu kita mampu hadapinya.

Ya Allah, lindungi kami hambaMu yg lemah. Semoga dugaan ini baik kesudahannya, Amin...

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Ibu's little helper

Just like her ayah, an explorer and a great helper at home :)

Maybe its time for us to move in together, kan ayah? Distance is killing me :(

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Missing you...

I cannot have you by my side at the office, but today I have your watch to accompany my busy day :)

Love you!

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Motherhood

It has been almost 17 months now since I gave birth to our first edition. How time flies. Motherhood has taught me a little bit more about life. An on-going lesson that in the end make you become a better person.

Sacrifices have taken place before the baby was even born. Just imagine the attempts that our mothers had gone through to where we are today.

I remember the moment in the labor room. I was fortunate, for having the opprtunity to give birth at a 5 star hospital. Your wellbeing is well taken care of and access to all sort of medications are readily available as you wish.

My 45 minutes experiencehh in labor room is considered as an easy one. Of course, with epidural in the picture. Still, I felt every bit of the needle tip that went through my skin, at the private part! But what is that compared to natural birth, kan?

Well, that is just the beginning of being a superwoman behind a well raised child. Then comes the sleepless nights, breastfeeding, going back to work dilemma, babysitter, which formula to choose (breastmilk is always the best), leaving your baby for outstation work, colic, teething and so many more.

I must admit that it is not easy being a working mother. Time is a factor that needs to be managed wisely. Another challenge is to keep your emotions at peace. Work nowadays is very demanding that sometime it drives you nuts. Work in KL just adds in the stress with bad traffic in the picture. This is where you have to manage the stress. The moment you reached home, that is the end of it (stress) and the happy hours of the day continue. Well, of course house chores await! Cleaning the feeding bottles, doing the baby's laundry, packing for tomorrow's baby bag and of the best part, catching up with your little one. See? 'Work' doesnot end at the office, there is more of it at home for supermom! Indeed, if not carefully managed one can end up stressful easily. This is where helpful husband comes in handy.

One thing I realize during this motherhood journey is to learn to let go. I used to be a kind of organized person, seriously. I hate seing things out of order and find messy-ness irritating. At this stage, babies or toddlers is exploring their surrounding through different ways. They pick up things and put them inside their mouth, throw things here and there, spill their milk and laugh about it. And throughout these stages, I learned to let go the organized side of me, be patient and enjoy the moments with my child :) let them do the mess and only cleans the mess later. No point of doing the cleaning work early, avoid double work.

I guess the key message is about being flexible. Why burden your mind on small things when you have so many things to be happy about? Just my 2 cents worth :)

Ibu loves you, RAZ!

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My 1st three C!

Today, at 27 years and a month old, I have indulged myself to the Coach! :D yeay! Here's to the hardwork & hardship throughout 2010.

I am a rough person. I hope I would be able to treat my C's accordingly.

If you're reading this ayah, please excuse ibu for being such-a-spender. Once a while ok kan?

Happy belated birthday Jaja :)

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Reflection

Life. How could this short and simple word has different meaning to every single one of us. Everyone has their own story to tell. Some, chose not to talk about it and rather keep it to themselves as secret.

Life. I bet no one dreams of living in the bitter part of it. Just like a fairy tale, we wish to close the chapter by living happily ever after. The FACT is life is not a fairy tale. We could have planned everything but the ultimate destiny is no where within our reach.

Subhanallah, Engkau Maha Agong. Setiap hambamu punya kelebihan dan kekurangan dalam meniti kehidupan masing-masing. Kesenangan dan kesusahan adalah ujianmu. Akhirat kelak perhitungan yang pasti.

Alhamdulillah atas kurniaanmu ya Allah. Jauhilah kami dari kesenangan yang melalaikan. Ringankanlah dugaanmu yang tidak tertanggung oleh kami. Pinjamkanlah kekuatan untuk kami terus bertahan. Jauhilah kami dari bahana hasad. Permudahkanlah urusan kami.Semoga kami tidak tergolong di kalangan hambamu yg lupa. Amin...

Ibu loves you both, dear ayah and Raudhah Amani. Insyaallah ada sinar untuk kita semua. Amin :)

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DUKHMIMU?

Look forward to meeting you soon, love! :-*

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5S day

It was a quiet day. The 5S was planned to be conducted after lunch hour. But my workstation needed 5S badly. So I started early, immediately after tazkirah.

The workstation looks tidy now. Good! Hope it lasts long ;p budget activities are coming up soon; keeping things in order usually is a challenge during the 'cycle' of the year. Nonetheless, its the way it should be. Good luck in keeping the workstation tidy and orderly, Ja. Lets clock in a month as a start, shall we? Longchamp as the motivation. What??? Thats a bit too much kan..expensive! ;p

Here's the new look, the place where obligation meets responsibility.

My battle field :)


Going places; souvenirs from friends


My world


My motivation :)

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Shopping is the best therapy

Two parcels reached home today. Both were for adik. Yes, ibu has started doing shopping for boboi-boy. Though ayah's stand is valid; that kakak's outfits are still in good condition and enough atleast for the first 2 months. Ibu on the other hand, just cannot settled down with boys wearing pinkish outfit. So ibu made friends with online shopping again and now having problem to stop :D

These items arrived today! Janji, I will not spend unnecessarily :)

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Risau

Get well soon, ayah... Ini dugaan kita. Kita face sama-sama.

Ibu loves you.

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April already?

Cepatnya masa berlalu,dah April pon. I just came back from vacation impian, 1 week to be exact. Alhamdulillah, sampai sudah kami ke rumah-Mu :)In short, yes it was a really special place. Menitik air mata once nampak Masjid Nabawi apatah lg Masjidil Haram and Kaabah depan mata. Subhanallah...Semoga dimurahkan rezeki untuk ke sana lg, Insyaallah.

I think most of you pon dah pegi so takpa la, I reserve my story about the 'vacation'. Oh the only reason why I call it a vacation is its my first time going out of the country..hehe dont get me wrong :)

Challenges?
1. Leaving Raudhah Amani with her atok and nenek for 2 weeks! Sampai kurus baby ibu :( Its ok, its just gonna make you and ibu a stronger person kan? :) ibu is so proud of you, girl!
2. Being away from Malaysia when you need all the local food and your comfort zone with you. Haha surprise, I am now 10 weeks pregnant and morning sickness has just make a come back 2 weeks back, just as I was about to take off to Jeddah :D

30 weeks to go. Hope everything will be fine. Dear morning sickness, please go away sooooonnn :)

10 years in love

10 years have thought me a lot about the beauty of being in love, being loved, making sacrifices, being patience and holding on to what I believe. Only God knows how much I love you, especially after all the ups and many many loops of difficulties that we have faced together. Subhanallah...

Sesungguhnya dugaanMu adalah untuk hambaMu yang mampu mengadapinya. Tabah dan kuatkan hati kami untuk menghadapi hari-hari yang mendatang Ya Allah. Sesungguhnya kekuatan ini adalah milikMu. Semoga hidup kami terus disinari kebahagiaan and dijauhkan dari hasad dengki hambamu Ya Allah...Amin...

This year, we celebrated our 10th anniversary at Mecca with the special 'gift' in my tummy. So the celebration can come later, ok ayah :)


Happy 10 years, love. Dear Mr Zulfadhli, ku amat mencintai kamu..kerna kau beri erti hidup..ku kan selalu mencinta sedetik lebih, selepas selamanya :)



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